on the learn

Small Things

2011-09-26T18:56:00.002-04:00

Today, I watched a student smile at something in his book for the first time. It was awesome.

I Teach High School Now

2011-09-08T22:23:00.001-04:00

Here's a six word memoir about that:

I'm really happy. I'm really tired.

More another day : )

Possibilities

2011-07-24T15:23:00.002-04:00

I'm considering returning to blogging in the near future. That is all.

Thrilled

2010-04-17T10:32:00.005-04:00

So, I received my invitation just the other day to PRESENT AT NCTE 2010!

Two friends and I submitted a proposal late in 2009, and it was accepted. I will be discussing personal belief statement essays in our session while my fellow teaching friends will discuss choice literacy and Socratic Seminars. Sharing this news with my students was important to me. I'm forever encouraging them to take chances and be fortified by the taking of the chance in the first place; if the risk pays off, all the better. They recalled the enthusiasm with which I shared my experiences after NCTE 2009 (and they recalled the books--dear God, the books!), so they knew how much this meant to me.

In the midst of the anxiety brought on by the current state of affairs in NJ schools, the acceptance of our proposal was welcomed news to say the least. I'm not sure what will happen with my position next year. There is a strong possibility that it will not exist. I'm feeling curious above all else--curious to see what's next. I'm counting my blessings that I'm not one of the many who will lose a position and have to worry about how they will afford their mortgage or childcare. I have no spouse, no child. I live at home. I'm actually in the most perfect of positions to lose my job, if there existed such a thing. And I'm among the very few who could ever write a thing like that at a time like this.

Let's hope the populace in my district stops letting the governor do the thinking for them. (Fat chance.)

Two Things.

2010-01-27T20:01:00.003-05:00

This: builtinbirthcontrol

And this: reverentreader

The blogs of peeps I love.

Word.

2010-01-27T19:48:00.004-05:00

This feeling of being lonely and very temporary visitors in the universe is in flat contradiction to everything known about man (and all other living organisms) in the sciences. We do not "come into" this world; we come out of it, as leaves from a tree. As the ocean "waves," the universe "peoples." Every individual is an expression of the whole realm of nature, a unique action of the total universe . . . The first result of this illusion is that our attitude to the world "outside" us is largely hostile. We are forever "conquering" nature, space, mountains, deserts, bacteria, and insects instead of learning to cooperate with them in a harmonious order.

--Alan Watts, The Book On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

P.S.--I still hate mosquitoes.

Daily Bread

2010-01-11T15:38:00.002-05:00

I wonder what it's like to not understand how blessedly amazing it can feel to punch in some numbers to a grade book, watch a student's average move up to a 70%, and be thrilled.

The Kindest Thing.

2009-12-18T21:23:00.004-05:00

We're writing short personal essays on the kindest thing anyone has ever done for us--the Farmer's Almanac's essay topic for 2010. We'll be sending in our submissions in January.

You know, I was wondering when I was going to finally start feeling like there was a real connection between these kids and me. I was feeling guilty about missing my students from last year and resenting some of the resistance to work I've seen in this crew. I was questioning if we'd ever get into a groove. Being in writing workshop with my classes the past few days has answered my question. We're finally getting there. I have students writing about some dark, dark stuff. One witnessed the tragic death of his grandfather this summer and chose to write about the kindness of a neighbor who cared for him while his family rushed to the hospital. Another lost her mother at the age of 5--a fact of which I hadn't even been made aware until today--and writes of her father's support as she grieved. Yet another student is writing about the kindness his mother shows to him and his siblings, all of whom suffer from severe OCD and ADD.

Not all of their essays are steeped in tragedy. I have students writing about the small acts of kindness they are grateful for every day--parents who wake up extra early to make sure steaming breakfasts are ready and bus stops are not cold and lonely; coaches who offered words of solace and encouragement that stuck; doctors that saved cherished pets from any number of illnesses; fishing trips with dad.

Their truths are spilling out onto the page. They're showing me that they trust me to understand, validate, acknowledge their deepest sorrows, their most challenging struggles, and the stuff of their daily lives--the details that make up who they are, who they are becoming. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift.

Ancillary. Maybe.

2009-12-08T20:36:00.003-05:00

Me: "So? How do you like it?" (The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian, which I put in a book pass rotation last week)

Student Who Doesn't Want to Appear to Like Books, smugly, loudly, and with no enthusiasm: "It's ok. I guess."

Me, disappointed that I still haven't been able to help this student find the right title, that one title, yet: "Oh. Well. . . keep reading and let me know."

S.W.D.W.A.L.B., when no one's looking, as quietly as possible, with a secret smile: "Can I check it out?!"

Me, whispering now too: "Of course."

One Art

2009-11-29T14:10:00.004-05:00

This is a poem I return to again and again. Every time I love it even more. Bishop was a master of her craft.

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.


--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.


Elizabeth Bishop

NCTE Annual Convention -- Philadelphia

2009-11-29T13:37:00.004-05:00

I cannot believe that I haven't been going to NCTE all these years. It was edifying in all the ways that leave one feeling validated and ready to do battle with the questions that plague the public school English teacher, including but certainly not limited to: Am I teaching people, not books? I have made great gains in independent reading, but how can I do better? How can I extend the amount of time and emphasis I place on the importance of choice literacy? How can I continue to legitimatize the 21st century literacies my students possess through use of technology as a means for expressing ideas and synthesizing understanding? How can I continue to progress in the important aim of framing the work my students do as inquiry into human nature, the imperatives of socially just living, the art of writing as a means for examining and expressing one's greatest passions and deepest truths?

Other exciting news from NCTE:
-I've added 70 new books to my classroom library, more or less courtesy of the publishers that were present.
-I met and took pictures with Walter Dean Myers, Laurie Halse Anderson, AND--gaaaasp--Naomi Shihab Nye!!!!
-I was able to see Sara Dessen speak. Her books are circulating among my students daily--you'd be hard pressed to find the titles back in my classroom library for more than a couple periods after being returned.
-I attended an excellent session on the portrayal of gay males in both young adult literature identified as LGBTQ and otherwise. The session focused on the trouble with authors' pursuit of realism through the use of homophobic language--how this authenticates the view of individuals who identify as LGBTQ as necessarily different and, usually, negatively so. The session's main criticism reminded me much of the criticisms of Sasha Baron Cohen's film, Bruno, in that the movie, while trying to expose homophobia, authenticated it as it elicited laughs from the general populace much more frequently than discomfort at the depictions of ignorance and hatred, and as Cohen's character's behavior was both a stereotypical and narrow-minded depiction of homosexual identity. The session's speakers acknowledged that there has been progress in the inclusion of characters who identify as LGBTQ in a range of literature, but much work remains in depicting these characters and the societies in which they function.

P.S. - Junot Diaz did the keynote and I kind of want to marry him now.

Odds & Ends

2009-08-23T12:22:00.004-04:00

Sorry for not posting in a while. I've been savoring every single moment of summer. It's been wonderful! Here are a bunch of randomly associated thoughts that have been swimming around in my brain. . .

I'm officially on the countdown. Are you guys ready? Oh my, I don't feel ready at all. Union/BOE issues = me not being able to access my classroom until our first official contracted day back, whereas last year I was in my classroom for weeks ahead of time. I know everything will work out alright, but I'm a little apprehensive about getting everything done all the same. I just hope my order is in and correct.

In other news, our principal resigned over the summer and accepted an elementary school principal position about an hour away. I'm kind of bummed about this, as she was part of the reason that I accepted the position in this district. But I suppose there is the possibility that our next administrator and I pedagogically connect as well.

Moving right along, I truly feel energized to begin. I am making a serious commitment, as I've mentioned, to daily chunks of independent reading time. A healthy portion of my back to school night will be dedicated to the discussion of independent reading at school and at home. I want parents to not only know and understand that I value independent reading for their children, I want them to see the tangible research that demonstrates that there is no stronger predictor of student success, testing or otherwise, than the amount of reading for enjoyment in which the student is engaged.

One of my former professors offered an awesome session on Boy Meets Boy and issues in teaching LGBTQ lit last week. It was so very invigorating. Among other things, I learned that our state, New Jersey, is one of only two states to earn an "A" grade from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (or GLSEN). GLSEN issues a report card every two years; grades are determined by the presence, or lack thereof, of a host of laws that include specific language to protect the rights of LGBTQ individuals.

I took away some affirming ideas from our session. To start with, my professor discussed something I feel strongly about. To paraphrase, she discussed the idea that we often shy away from addressing conflict in schools. We avoid discussing topics in order to--so we believe--accommodate our students and save them from feeling uncomfortable or awkward. But, this truly is not the purpose of schooling. If we are to contribute to our students' abilities to think critically, creatively, and empathetically about any number of issues they will encounter as social, emotional, and, let's face it, political agents, we are amiss to not aid them in the process of not only feeling uncomfortable about their perceptions at times, but in seeing that there are ways to consider the perspectives of others in respectful ways. Addressing topics that can make students feel conflicted in the classroom is our duty. Helping them work through complex issues and see the world through the eyes of another, if only for a glimpse, is the second imperative at work her.

In terms of justifying, so to speak, the presence of LGBTQ literature in the event of a challenge, my professor introduced the powerful idea of citing that fact that educators are bound by law to create a safe environment for every child. I am lawfully responsible to make sure each student feels safe. One out of every 10 students is or will be LGBTQ. Two out of hundreds of the books in my library are LGBTQ lit. There is a problem with this picture. I'm going to remedy it.

If you're still reading, I hope your preparations for your classroom this year are going splendidly and I wish you a happy start!

I'm Only Breathing.

2009-08-05T15:28:00.006-04:00

I can't believe I've never posted this before--have I? I love e.e. so much. Sometimes his words remind me a little bit of Walt Whitman.

i am a little church(no great cathedral)

i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
--i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness

around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains

i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
--i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing

winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)

Fresh

2009-08-02T22:01:00.006-04:00

It was a stormy Sunday around here, and I can't think of a better place to spend a stormy Sunday than a bookstore. Thank goodness for Barnes & Noble gift certificates (and my 20% off teacher card). I have used book suggestion lists in the past, mostly from Atwell's resources and the CTL website. This time, a few of the titles were recommended by Kelly Gallagher in the appendix of his book, Readicide: How Schools Are Killing Reading and What You Can Do About It.

Here are the new additions to my classroom library, most of which have I not read yet (28 days left!):

I am beginning with what I'm assuming will prove to be the fluffiest of my purchases. I figure, I sometimes tend to buy books based on what I would be interested in. I generally shy away from ones that look cheesy and gimmicky, but some kids really go for cheesy and gimmicky. We're supposed to be meeting the needs of every reader, right? And for that matter, sometimes we need cheesy and gimmicky to balance out serious and thought-provoking. Come to think of it, I'm the one who just finished Jodi Picoult's Mercy--pretty cheesy itself. And I haven't read either of the following two books, so as far as I know they could both be deep, intellectual literary territory. So here they are:

Here are the two non-fiction titles I picked up today, the first of which I discovered whilst doing my Junior practicum. My coop used an excerpt from Always Running during a memoir writing unit. The second, Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence is by Paul Feig, the creator of Freaks and Geeks.

I cringe to admit that I have NO Chris Crutcher in my library, despite the fact that I had the distinct pleasure of meeting him and hearing him speak last year in Maine. Here are the two I picked up today; I unwittingly purchased Ironman when I had thought I picked up Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes.

And I started this one tonight. Right now, my feelings can be summed up in a word: "meh." I hope my feelings will improve as I read on.

In related news, I'm rereading Ender's Game because I love it so, so dearly. It's everything I remember and more. I want to read the whole quartet over, I think.

Unfettered

2009-07-22T16:01:00.002-04:00

. . .so unfettered, in fact, that I've neglected the blog o sphere almost completely lately. Sorry for not posting anything substantial in some time. I've been sleeping in and being lazy and stuff (sorry, Ms. X., I know you're rolling your eyes. . .), but it really has been rejuvenating. I didn't realize how plain old tired I was until I returned home from California, and I feel lucky to have this time to recharge.

I have been continually reflecting on my first year, and thinking about the areas in which I want to improve, the ideas I need to revise. Summer has brought so much blessed time for recharging that I almost feel guilty (almost). As I write, I sit in my bathing suit after a lovely day at the shore. I hope you are all finding some time to enjoy the summer, however marginal that time may be. In all of my relaxation, I'm busy yet, negotiating the particulars of who I have become, and reconciling that person with where I've come from and where I want to go, as an educator and an individual.

I will leave you with one teacher-related piece of joy, a message left for me on one of the last days of school by my cross to bear. Below was the redeeming message left behind the projector screen on my white board, which the student had written covertly under the screen so no one saw it. The direction I received was, "don't read what's under there until we leave today," which I think comes from me telling my students to please wait until they got home to read the notes I wrote them (even though most didn't).

(verbatim):

"I love you so much your one the best teachers I ever had even thow you had a hard time keeping me in line I had a great time in your class your one of the Best teachers, I ever had write next to Mr. [dude who retired this year]. I real like how you cared about your students most of us play it off but we real do like it when we know someone cares abt you. most of us have money but the kids who don't have to strugle, like me. your a great teacher, rhole model, friend & person Sincerly [cross to bear]"

I love the "write next to." But what I love most is, in those last six words, he has encapsulated the exact four things I have always wanted to and could ever ask to be to my students. Teacher, rhole model, friend, person. My life as a teacher is the constant, delicate balance of these four.

Correction

2009-07-06T16:31:00.003-04:00

I will be reading this next:

Readicide: How Schools Are Killing Reading and What You Can Do About It

As I'm doing some serious introspection on how I will change the amount and type of reading done in my classroom next year, this is right on time.

Smog might turn to stars someday

2009-07-06T15:47:00.002-04:00

What I'm reading next:
I can't wait!

Just Sayin. . .

2009-07-02T21:13:00.002-04:00

If Jim Halpert was a real person, I would totally marry him.

With an aching in my heart. . . or, Travelogue

2009-07-01T18:21:00.012-04:00

Here are a few vacation photos, mostly in the order in which they were taken. . .

The flowers and the wine, a 2000 Bordeaux, on our first night in CA. . . my brother made an awesome penne vodka and his homemade sourdough bread:

An impromptu trip to a farmer's market in Newark, CA:

A funky plant stand on the grounds of Ironstone Vineyards, Angels Camp/Sierra foothills. . . we did some tasting and came away with a Syrah and an "old vine" Zinfandel (an uncharacteristic choice for me):

Angels Camp is the frog jumping capital of the world. Weird Harrold won my year, 1984, and jumped my lucky number, 21 feet (and 1 1/2 inches, not my lucky number). We stayed in Angels Camp for one night in order to do some foothills wine tasting on our way to Yosemite (we've done plenty of tasting in Sonoma & Napa, so we were ready for a change):

The village bank at Columbia State Historical Park, gold country/Sierra foothills:
And this dude, in Columbia gold country, who yelled at my brother for petting his horses. . . twice:

Humbling views from Glacier Point/Yosemite (it was so bright that these are a little over-exposed; meant to fix them on Picasa before uploading):

Proof that God has a sense of humor:
Half Dome at Glacier Point/Yosemite:

El Capitan/Yosemite:
The Merced River, which runs through Yosemite Valley, and which we rafted down:

There are no words for Bridalveil Falls:
On the walk to Bridalveil Falls/Yosemite, this is one of my favorites:

I liked this sign (at Bridalveil) because it answered all of my questions regarding what could happen if I chose to walk on the rocks. There is no further elaboration required:
A beautiful view from a vista point in Yosemite:

The bread and the knife / the [not] crystal goblet and the wine. . . I couldn't resist. This is my brother's homemade sourdough. It is THE BOMB. We had it with steak and salad on our last night in Yosemite. We also had the BOSS wine of the trip, the Torcido (or twisted) from Twisted Oaks, a Grenache blend. I'm so sad that they don't distribute in N.J.:

A view from Tuolumne Meadows/Yosemite, taken when I was prettttty damn sick, before I was able to have an antibiotic called in. . . Tuolumne was a bit eerie (or maybe it had something to do with being 8 Advils deep). At an elevation of 8,600 feet, there are large rocks strewn all over that were left behind by melting glaciers. They almost look like gravestones:

Mitchell's mango ice cream--it doesn't take much to make me happy. Mitchell's is located at San Jose & 29th in San Francisco. Check out my stubby, bitten thumb nail, too:

Buddha at the Asian Art Museum of S.F., where we also took in an excellent special exhibit on samurai culture and history:

Our last supper (for now): my brother's homemade pizza, more homemade sourdough, 2003 organic Bordeaux from Muir's Legacy Vineyards, where we tasted while in Murphys (I ended up with another uncharacteristic choice: organic Chardonnay. A white!). Carb city, but when in Rome. . .

Sooo, all these pictures are my sole property and stuff. I took them all myself (as if you couldn't tell), so please don't steal them (not that you would want to).

Everything under the sun is in tune

2009-06-29T23:37:00.008-04:00

Whaaaaaat? Did you guys see Oliver Sacks on Jon Stewart? I NEED to read his new(ish) book, Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain. There's also a special airing on PBS tomorrow at 8 PM. They show a clip where Sacks' brain lights up a teeny bit when he listens to Beethoven, but produces a ton of activity when he listens to Bach, including, remarkably, in his amygdala. I had an old professor that used to say, "There is no other composer. Bach is the only composer." I conceded his point then, as I do now.

I love Oliver Sacks and I've always loved nonfiction science. I read his Island of the Colorblind many years ago, and then fell off following his titles. Here's a great opportunity for me to get back into this genre. If I haven't said so before, if I wasn't an English teacher, I'd probably be a Science teacher (just like my mom).

A Few Good Quotes

2009-06-27T02:37:00.002-04:00

"I'm not drinking any f*cking merlot." Paul Giamatti's character in Sideways--is there any better movie for me to be watching on my last night in CA?

"Is he going to pay back his mother now? Jackass." My dad, at the end of Sideways.

"Instead of using cold hard cash, the White House threatens to pull the rug from under dissenting legislators and offers its support to those who cede their conscience to the president’s agenda. So much for change." Jeremy Scahill, tellin it like it is as usual. Here's the context.

Plenty of lovely photos from my lovely break in the west soon to come. . .

Kid, You'll Move Mountains

2009-06-16T21:54:00.004-04:00

As anticipated, I bordered on weeping through two readings of Oh, the Places You'll Go today (Students' conversation regarding this: "Ms [Me], are you really crying?" "Shut up, Matt. Girls are emotional.") As I chose the worst timing in the afternoon (i.e., right after an "I'm so disappointed in you guys" speech because someone broke my brand new Method spray bottle and left it for dead yesterday), I wasn't feeling too sentimental so I made it through without much pomp and circumstance. I'm saving all my high school advice for Thursday, when I'll really have them in class for the last time.

I wrote each of my students a good-bye note on the back of the class pictures we took in January. I tried hard to recall something special about each of them. Some notes are longer than others, but that's the nature of human interactions, no? By the way, before you start assuming I'm trying to be some kind of martyr, it's much easier to write 65 notes as compared to my colleagues' 130 students a day. The block schedule affords these perks and I can't say I'd be willing to write if I had double the amount of kids.

Well, this is it. Today was our last full day. Thursday is graduation. Friday is our last day of the year. I leave for California Saturday morning.

There's so much to process that I can't even begin yet. For now, I'll say that I'm wondering who I'll be next year, without the 65 kids who changed my life. There's only one way to find out. . .

The most beautiful word in the English language to me right now? Unencumbered.

Back to the gypsy that I was

2009-06-14T11:04:00.007-04:00

Who spent 3 hours 12 feet from Stevie Nicks? Me. And my mom. It was magical.

On our way in, I politely tell Tim, the events staff member showing us to our floor seats, that if any front row seats just happen to be become available, that we would be more than happy to fill them. So Tim looks us out, as he said he would, and mere minutes later we are standing right in front of the stage. Thanks, Tim.

This was a hits tour so it stands to reason that the renditions of "Landslide," "Gypsy," "Go Your Own Way," "Dreams," "Second Hand News," "Rhiannon," etc. made up the majority of the set list. I had tears in my eyes through "Landslide." "Gold Dust Woman" was beautifully done.

Lindsey Buckingham played a ridiculous show. His solos were amazing. The passion he and Stevie showed was moving. At one point they embraced while he played his guitar. It was a moment of such personal and private emotion. You could see the years falling around them.

Here are some crappy pics I took with my camera phone, because, of course, I forgot my camera.

Stevie through various changes of clothing:

Lindsey soloing it about five feet from us:

And John McVie gettin funky:

I narrowly avoided buying a Second Hand News t-shirt, which would be somewhat a propos to my personal life right now, minus the "someone else" and "stuff." I went with one that read "Rock on Gold Dust Woman." Because who can resist that? Thanks for the t-shirt, Mom. And Happy Mother's Day!

Happiness Is

2009-06-10T21:33:00.003-04:00

This:

"I’m just a student I don’t think I have any good advice to give you but not to change. You are the coolest teacher I have ever had. You are so funny and happy all the time and you being happy always make me happy. You really care about your students and you invest in them making sure they do their best. You try and learn something new about everyone every day. You care enough to want to talk make their life and day better than it was. Those traits make a great teacher, that’s what you are, most definitely.

THANK YOU! I couldn’t have asked for a better year, I’m glad I wasn’t put in advanced language otherwise I wouldn’t have you as a teacher. I wouldn’t have had the experience of having a favorite teacher. We always do new and unique things in your class, it’s never boring. I wish you could be my teacher next year. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and you would understand. I hope you have fun at [our school]. I know I did."

Sorry. Some things are too good to keep to myself.

Got Swine Flu?

2009-06-10T21:19:00.001-04:00

We do. Two reported cases.

Here comes the Lysol.

You probably need some e.e. cummings in your life.

2009-06-08T21:34:00.005-04:00

We read this together in class the other day. One of my favorites, I just melt. I told the boys to hang on to this and give it to their girlfriends in high school. They liked this repurposing of a poem.

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

--e.e. cummings

My Thoughts Exactly.

2009-06-07T22:17:00.003-04:00

Jay-Z diagnosing the issue with today's excuse for rap: "Death of Autotune"

. . .

And I didn't know what autotune was, either.

Me by the Numbers

2009-05-30T10:13:00.003-04:00

Years in public ed? 1.

Grant proposals written? 1.

Grant proposals GRANTED? 1!

Class interrupted by administration and foundation with balloons and a big goofy check, during which principal tells me what a big accomplishment this is? Priceless.

Contextualizing TKAM

2009-05-26T20:39:00.004-04:00

Providing context is such a crucial part of any reading experience, and TKAM is certainly no exception. Last week we worked with Langston Hughes' "The Bitter River," (I could only find a electronic version in PDF) which, among other things, makes reference to the lynching of two 14-year-old boys in Mississippi as well as to the Scottsboro boys, on whom we read an article earlier in our unit.

This week we watched a segment from Democracy Now! on the Pullman Porters, the first black labor union in America. The students were surprised to learn about how A. Phillip Randolph
was such an important yet unsung figure in the civil rights movement. They wondered why the Pullman Porters chose to trust Randolph with leading their unionizing efforts, as he had tried and failed in this pursuit in other industries. I didn't have an answer for them beyond the idea that perhaps they found Randolph to be a passionate and dedicated man in whom they felt they should place their trust.

I'm finding that while contextualizing the novel is harder than I thought it might be--in part because I hadn't anticipated my students would have such limited background knowledge--they are faring well when it comes to identifying themes that link the events and ideas we're learning about. Next year, I'd really like to bring some contemporary issues into the picture--redlining, Amadou Diallo and police brutality/profiling, and a greater emphasis on marginalization in general.

Ideas?

UPDATED: Thanks, Ms. X., for the idea. I ended up scrapping my plans and creating a lesson on Diallo, using the song as a connection to both the article and the book. It was by all accounts a total success. I was so impressed with them.

Just a Dream Some of Us Had

2009-05-25T18:53:00.004-04:00

Dead American soldiers: 4300

Dead Iraqi citizens: 1,331,578

Below is video of the Winter Soldier congressional hearings held on May 15, 2009.

Be sure to also check out and support Iraq Veterans Against the War.

All My Favorites

2009-05-24T00:54:00.005-04:00

Here are a bunch of little bits of wisdom I forgot I had once collected:

" it's sacrilege to waste the talent for idleness. "

william faulkner

"neither am i good or bad. / i'd give up my halo for a horn and the horn for the hat i once had. / i'm only breathing." ian anderson

"as long as the protest remains civil and well-mannered, as long as we - the self-appointed opinion-makers - all continue to behave in respectable ways, as long as we continue to mindlessly defer to institutions that hav e themselves begun to cynically drop any pretence of being moral, just, or respectable - why should the government listen? it's doing just fine . . . if you're a writer, you tend to keep those aching eyes open. every day you are reminded that there is no such thing as innocence. and every day you have to think of new ways of saying old and obvious things. things about love and greed. things about politics and governance. about power and powerlessness. things that must be said over and over again." arundhati roy

"the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crises, maintain their neutrality." dante alighieri

"I am deemed a radical because I believe that partisan politics should be left to the wayside when hundreds of thousands of people are dying for a war based on lies that is supported by Democrats and Republican alike. It amazes me that people who are sharp on the issues and can zero in like a laser beam on lies, misrepresentations, and political expediency when it comes to one party refuse to recognize it in their own party. Blind party loyalty is dangerous whatever side it occurs on. People of the world look on us Americans as jokes because we allow our political leaders so much murderous latitude and if we don?t find alternatives to this corrupt "two" party system our Representative Republic will die and be replaced with what we are rapidly descending into with nary a check or balance:

a fascist corporate wasteland." cindy sheehan.

"They stand torpid in cages, in violent motion / unmoved / but alert! / predatory minds, un- / affected / UNINCONVENIENCED / unsexed, up / and down (with wing motion) This is how / the money's made . . . Oh I could cry! / cry upon your young shoulder for what I know." william carlos williams

"all i'm writing is just what i feel, that's all, and not really using too many good . . . i don't really round it off too good. i just keep it almost naked." jimi hendrix

"and there are only a tiny handful of politicians who will raise the banner of subordinating corporate power to the sovereignty of the american people. the debates are sterile. the debates are exercises in parallel news conferences repeating ad infinitum the same words and phrases of evasion. they will not confront the corporate crime wave. they will not confront the destruction of our democracy. they will not confront the usurpation of our electoral processes" ralph nader

"the soldier is applauded who refuses to serve in an unjust war by those who do not refuse to sustain the unjust government which makes the war . . . thus, under the name of Order and Civil Government, we are all made at last to pay homage to and support our own meanness. after the first blush of sin comes its indifference; and from immoral it becomes, as it were, unmoral, and not quite unnecessary to that life which we have made. the broadest and most prevalent error requires the most disinterested virtue to sustain it.

action from principle, the perception and the performance of right, changes things and relations; it is essentially revolutionary, and does not consist wholly with anything which was. it not only divided States and churches, it divides families; ay, it divides the individual, separating the diabolical in him from the divine" thoreau.

"fifty thousand men were sent to do the will of one. / his claim was phrased quite simply, though he never voiced it loud, / i am he, the chosen one. / in his name they could slaughter, for his name they could die. / though many there were believed in him, still more were sure he lied, / but they'll fight the battle on." genesis

Poetry Friday: Fitting, Sad.

2009-05-21T22:46:00.005-04:00

One more from Naomi Shihab Nye.

Adios

It is a good word, rolling off the tongue
no matter what language you were born with.
Use it. Learn where it begins,
the small alphabet of departure,
how long it takes to think of it,
then say it, then be heard.

Marry it. More than any golden ring,
it shines, it shines.
Wear it on every finger
till your hands dance,
touching everything easily,
letting everything easily go.

Strap it to your back like wings.
Or a kite-tail. The stream of air behind a jet.
If you are known for anything,
let it be the way you rise out of sight
when your work is finished.

Think of things that linger: leaves,
cartons and napkins, the damp smell of mold.

Think of things that disappear.

Think of what you love best,
what brings tears to your eyes.

Something that said adios to you
before you knew what it meant
or how long it was for.

Explain little, the word explains itself.
Later perhaps. Lessons following lessons,
like silence following sound.

Food.

2009-05-13T21:06:00.010-04:00

Teaching is an exhausting business--it's easy to work up an appetite fast. And it's easy to eat crappy (read: stupidly delicious) cafeteria food (such as pizza bagels--score!), but I feel so much happier (ok, so much less guilty) when I pack myself a yummy lunch. I have a couple guidelines that I like to follow in general; chief among them is that I consume two beverages: coffee, water. Ok, and red wine on the weekends (and on Red Wine Thursday, or RWT). That's it. High fructose corn syrup is the devil, so don't let multinational corporations tell you otherwise. You wait and see--but don't say I didn't warn you when we end up with a generation full of young people with fatty livers.

Anyhow, speaking of multinational corporations, here are some new (and old) favorite foodstuffs (should that be pluralized?):

Smooze Fruit Ice is so yummy. I like the mango/coconut milk ones. Seventy calories and 40% daily Vitamin C, yes please! And my fat dog likes it, too.

Morningstar Farms Southwestern Style Veggie Cakes are ridiculous and are lunch like 3x a week. Tons of fiber, tons of protein = me not wanting to fall asleep as my kids are walking in the door 7th period. I like to have one with sharp provolone in a wheat wrap. Avocado is always a plus.

I discovered Piave Vecchio two years ago in Sonoma--it's sorta like a mix between a sharp Asiago and bleu in some spots. Here's a fancy wiki on it. It has much fancier descriptions than my immature palette could provide. Oh, and I do sorta, kinda, half-way know Italian after 4 years in high school (and, um, being Italian), so yes, I certainly know that while vecchio sounds fancy it just means old.

Ok, ok, Tempranillo and I have been acquainted for some time, the Red Guitar rendition is a favorite, but a couple months ago I discovered the Campo Viejo. Bliss.

What are you enjoying these days?

I Could Be a Poet

2009-05-13T20:54:00.002-04:00

Just discovered Taylor Mali. Love him! I was sorta hoping he wasn't going to curse so I could show this to my kids, but I'm going to show them another on speaking with conviction.

Enjoy

2009-05-10T23:30:00.004-04:00

. . .The path is clear though no eyes can see. . .

2009-05-10T10:39:00.007-04:00

Poem as promised:

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.

--Naomi Shihab Nye

P.S.--I bought Oh, The Places You'll Go to read to my 8th graders on their last day of school. I used to get teary reading it to the 3-year-old I used to nanny. I can't imagine this bodes well--I see blubbering in my future.

Born Again from the Rhythm

2009-05-07T19:09:00.008-04:00

Poetry Friday for ya. . . I promise an actual poem soon. This is, of course, a Leonard Cohen original. But this rendition is so heartbreakingly beautiful, no?

. . .wait, have I posted this before? Possibly. Oh well.

Thanks to Joining Hands in Silence for these images of Buckley:

Ragamuffin, Barefoot Irreverence

2009-05-05T18:58:00.023-04:00

Last week, I was stuck with my last period of the day for LIKE 20 HOURS. I had them all morning for state testing and then for the full double period in the afternoon. Of course, this class is my cross to bear. I know this is dramatic, but it is also true.

We spent our afternoons doing nothing particularly intellectually stimulating, as per, more or less, our administration's suggestion. We decided to watch Freedom Writers, which held their attention to a much greater extent than my choices--August Rush and Ghostbusters. Figures. I'm happy to report that they found the husband in the film just as irritating as I do (ah, but this is another post).

By the time we finished the movie, even my most stubborn, smarty-pants student told me "this is a good movie." Better yet, the kids were clamoring to read the book that Erin Gruwell and her students put together, The Freedom Writers Diary. My two most reticent readers were the most excited to read it. Funny what a little profanity and violence will do to inspire some reading. . . who am I to argue? When my period 9 is asking for a book, my period 9 is getting the book. So, this weekend, I marched myself--a dedicated little literacy soldier in the pouring rain--to the bookstore to buy two copies. I figured while many of them said they wanted to read it, they would be whistling a new tune come Monday. O how wrong I was. The entire class shot up their hands when I asked who wanted to read the books.

The solution? The time-honored pick-out-of-a-hat. I knew I would rig the results if given the chance--I have a soft spot when my struggling students show this much enthusiasm--and I knew that wouldn't be fair, so I asked our librarian to do the honors. Lo and behold, my honesty was rewarded: it was my two struggling readers' lucky day! If you ask me, it was no coincidence.

Picture this: two way too cool eighth grade boys, sitting side by side with their hoodies and their iPod ear buds slung over their shoulders and their extra-super-coolness, comfy amidst my grungy, thrice-hand-me-down classroom pillows, nestled under the counter, reading. Not just reading. Reading aloud to one another, taking turns, paragraph by paragraph. Repairing meaning, helping one another with difficult vocabulary, stopping to comment on the text, engrossed. In the zone. I wish I took a picture.

And this morning? "Ms. [Me], we're on Chapter 9! . . .Oh, and I did my other reading homework, too."

My heart is smiling today. I'm making readers of them yet.

Oh, and I ordered four more copies of the book (used copies this time, I'm wising up after all).

The Five Most Glorious Words, or, Shameless Self-Promotion

2009-05-01T17:52:00.003-04:00

Most glorious:

"Recommendation: Grant contract with increment."

Some others?

"We think you hit one out of the park this year."

Also, "I can't remember ever giving a first-year teacher this many 'accomplished' marks."

It's been a good day. And after watching one of my colleagues and friends reduced to tears today as there is no position for her next year, I'm counting my blessings.

2009-04-29T20:31:00.008-04:00

Please see this article, which touches on and contextualizes issues of academic freedom (well, lack thereof) and denial of tenure in the case of my former professor, Dr. Nagesh Rao, and others.

And then, please sign the petition.

Here's my original posting on this matter.

Blue Are the Life-Giving Waters, Taken for Granted

2009-04-26T23:03:00.008-04:00

Do you remember Terry? I remember him every day. Better yet, Terry was with us on Friday. I'm sure of it.

A trusting, safe classroom environment was chief among Terry's goals as an educator, and among his goals for his students and their eventual classrooms. I've been fairly confident in my ability to help students feel welcomed and appreciated, but it's just hard to tell. Friday I was blessed to see that my efforts have not gone to waste.

I asked the students to describe a time when they felt like they grew up a little. We're exploring the idea of "coming of age," as To Kill a Mockingbird is on the horizon. I shared some examples from my past--my parents' divorce, my siblings leaving for college. The students followed mostly in that same path, touching from time to time on the loss of a family member or friend. I even brought up Terry in my last period of the day--how I had to grow up a little when he passed away because I knew I could no longer go to him for advice or dialogue with him about the role of an educator. I knew, I explained to my attentive students, that I would need to do it on my own, to take what he taught me and arrive at the best decisions I could based on what I knew.

It was in this same period that one of my students felt compelled to speak. This is a student that, until now, I regarded as a follower through-and-through. B is often easily led by students with stronger personalities. That said, he's a sensitive young guy who was moved to tears earlier in the year by his mother's reaction to his lack of effort in classes. He's tried so hard ever since to live up to his own expectations and to not disappoint his mother again. She reportedly told him, "I'm giving up on you." It sounds harsh, but I'm nobody's momma so I'm not about to judge the potential detriments or merits of the statement, nor am I fit to attest to whether or not I mightn't of said the same thing if I was her.

After at least 10 minutes of conversation and hand-raising from other students, B raised his hand with a look on his face that I have never seen before:

"Yes, B?"

"When I was young. . . I don't really remember it because I was only 3, but my older brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. My mom tells me about him."

When was the last time you thought you were brave? When was the last time you could have shown more courage? B was brave enough to offer this contribution, thinking long and hard about it and about whether it was right to share it. He sat there afterwards rubbing his eyes, putting his shirt up to his forehead so his classmates could not see the tears. He did not move to leave the room, to get a tissue. He sat and allowed us all to witness his pain.

It made me want to say, "Thank you, B, for your trust." It made me want to proclaim loudly and with conviction how courageous R is to share this with all of us, and how proud I am of this class--despite all their warts and their off-days--for being who they are, individually and collectively, and making it possible for R to speak his truth. Instead, I quietly expressed how brave I thought he was later in the class period when no one else was listening. B nodded in thanks for my words. I weighed whether or not to call home and let mom know, and decided against it. I'm sure it's not on the list of things on which she's ready to reminisce.

I am surprised by this jump B has made so late in our year together as a class. I'm looking at him in another light now, and I'm reflecting on the idea that I need to be wary of the sometimes easily-adopted position that I've got these kids all figured out. I guess I'm a little more like Miss Caroline Fischer than I'd like to admit.

What B said made me want to send Terry an e-mail, or give him a phone call, to tell him how far we've come since September. But instead, I said a little prayer of thanks, because Terry was with us.

The Most Absurd World Of All Times

2009-04-26T13:03:00.003-04:00

"It is imperative that a woman keep her sense of humor intact and at the ready. She must see, even if only in secret, that she is the funniest, looniest woman in her world, which she should also see as being the most absurd world of all times." Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now

I don't know what it is about this. I like it.

Enjoy

2009-04-26T12:30:00.003-04:00

Case of You

Just before our love got lost you said,
"I am as constant as a northern star."
And I said, "Constant in the darkness,
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar."

On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh, Canada
With your face sketched on it twice.

Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh, I would still be on my feet.

Oh, I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints.
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid.

I remember that time you told me
You said, "Love is toching souls."
Surely you touched mine.
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time.

Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet.
Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling
And still I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds.
And she said, "Go to him, stay with him if you can
but be prepared to bleed."

Oh, but you are in my blood
You're my holy wine
You're so bitter
bitter and so sweet.
Oh, I could drink a case of you darling
still I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet.

I <3 217

2009-04-23T17:58:00.009-04:00

I am outraged and disgusted by my alma mater English Department's decision to deny tenure and reappointment to one of the best professors under whom I've had the good fortune of studying. I count Dr. Nagesh Rao's classes among the finest, most transformative learning experiences I've ever had. He has been and continues to be an invaluable mentor to me and so many others--someone who guides generously, with little regard for the amount of his own personal time that slips away in the midst of aiding his students. To quote a fellow student, Nagesh has always been "just as interested in listening as he was speaking: a quality so few professors can say of themselves."

Nagesh, without a doubt in my mind, has made me a better educator through his example of what it means to be one--the duties and the commitment, the patience and enthusiasm, the love for learning and for helping others learn. For this I am so grateful.

The institution of higher learning that wishes to no longer count Dr. Rao among its ranks is truly doing itself--and its students--a monumental disservice. The caliber of the department gravely suffers in the event that the college allows a denial of tenure and reappointment to stick. In utmost solidarity with this cause, I ask that if you happen to be reading this, and happen to be a student, alumnus, or staff/faculty member, please sign the petition to defend Dr. Nagesh Rao's tenure.

"To speak a true word is to transform the world." Paulo Freire

Snapshot

2009-04-15T22:40:00.006-04:00

This is a post I wrote back in December. It was in my drafts. Somehow I didn't publish it. I was just talking with my sister-in-law about the ridiculous amount of information we teachers need to hold in our brains at all times, and this demonstrates that point exactly:

Me, from across the room: "No, don't use that laptop. Someone just put it away it's lost all its charge by now. It's going to shut off"

I traverse the terrain of 3-inch binders and clumsily covered textbooks, wondering why I hadn't insisted that they be put away what with the laptops being present and all. I pull a laptop from the bottom of the cart, unhooking it with deft movements of a fish thoroughly in water; "here, use this one. I don't think anyone's used it today so it should be all ready to go."

And my student, dumbfounded: "How did you do that? How did you see that from across the room?"

Me: "Well, I'm a teacher. That's my job."

Kinder, Gentler Machine Gun Hand

2009-04-11T00:00:00.004-04:00

The title has nothing to do with the post, really. Well, maybe in some dark, subconscious way. Or maybe not.

I just remembered how much I love this poem by Carl Sandburg. We read it when I student taught, during our Romeo & Juliet unit. It was so much fun to perform. And I think what I love best is, I can find something in each stanza that I'm nodding along to. See if the same holds true for you.

Here's an excerpt:

Little Word, Little White Bird

Love, is it a cat with claws and wild mate screams
in the black night?
Love, is it a bird--a goldfinch with a burnish
on its wingtips or a little gray sparrow
picking crumbs, hunting crumbs?
Love, is it a tug at the heart that comes high and
costs, always costs, as long as you have it?
Love, is it a free glad spender, ready to spend to
the limit, and then go head over heels in debt?
Love, can it hit one without hitting two and leave
the one lost and groping?
Love, can you pick it up like a mouse and put it in
your pocket and take it to your room and bring it
out of your pocket and say,
O here is my love,
my little pretty mousey love?

Yes--love, this little word you hear about,
is love an elephant and you step out of the way
where the elephant comes trampling, tromping,
traveling with big feet and long flaps of
drooping ears and straight white ivory tusks--
and you step out of the way with respect,
with high respect, and surprise near to shock
as you say,
Dear God, he's big,
big like stupendous is big,
heavy and elephantine and funny,
immense and slow and easy.
I'm asking, is love an elephant?

Or could it be love is a snake--like a rattlesnake,
like a creeping winding slithering rattlesnake
with fangs--poison fangs they tell me,
and when the bite of it gets you
then you run crying for help
if you don't fall cold and dead on the way.
Can love be a snake?

Or would you say love is a flamingo, with pink feathers--
a soft sunset pink, a sweet gleaming naked pink--
and with enough long pink feathers
you could make the fan for a fan dance
and hear a person telling their lover,
Speak, my chosen one,
and give me your wish
as to what manner of fan dance
you would have from me
in the cool of evening
or the black velvet sheen of midnight.
Could it be love is a flamingo?

Or is love a big red apple, and you don't know
whether to bite into it--and you knock on wood
and call off your luck numbers and hold your breath--
and you put your teeth into it and get a mouthful,
tasting all there is to it,
and whether it's sweet and wild
or a dry mush you want to spit out,
it's something else than you expected.
I'm asking, sir, is love a big red apple?

And I've heard some say love is a spy and a sneak,
a blatherer, a gabby mouth,
tattling and tittering as it tattles,
and you believe it and take it to your heart
and nurse it like good news,
like heaven-sent news meant for you
and you only--precious little you.
Have you heard love comes creeping and cheating like that?

Here's the whole thing.

Mos Def

2009-04-05T11:53:00.005-04:00

Gr! Sorry. Didn't know it would do that. . . anyhow, I'll leave this info anyway:

Scroll all the way to about 9:00 to see him school Bill. It's just a few small comments, and Bill pretty much ignores him, but his thoughts are powerful and he exposes Bill's ignorance to the realities of the poor and working poor of this country. He makes another fine point at about 1:55 on nuclear disarmament and American hypocrisy, that, again, no one wants to acknowledge. If I'm not mistaken, it's the same point my mother has been making all my life (right, Mom?), and I'm inclined to think it's a pretty damn sensible one.

Rushdie and Hitchens are pretty bourgy the whole way through (yeah, I am calling someone else bourgy a week after I created a unapologetic consumerism tag and wrote about local organic coffee). They want to pretend that Mos isn't listening when in reality they don't want to hear his straightforward and honest thoughts that don't dance around the truth or complicate things in the irritating manner in which they prefer to engage in discussion. Rushdie has some nerve telling anyone how it is after accepting knighthood from a colonial power the likes of which are unparalleled except, maybe, by the United States.

Go Ahead. . .

2009-04-05T11:00:00.008-04:00

Chuckle. Chuckle at the fact that I love Rush enough to turn "Tom Sawyer" lyrics (cause that's not a predictable choice or anything) into an impromptu Poetry Sunday while I sit and listen with strep throat on the FIRST TWO DAYS OF MY BREAK. Figures. Literally the moment I got home Friday, my body says oooook time to be sick now.

BTW, did anyone see Mos Def school Bill Maher on the working poor last week? Sometimes, as one of my professors once said, Bill really kicks down instead of up. Mos was not having it. I will try to find the moment on youtube.

What is it with me and musicians named Neil?

Tom Sawyer

A modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride
Today's Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride

Though his mind is not for rent
Don't put him down as arrogant
His reserve, a quiet defense
Riding out the day's events
The river

What you say about his company
Is what you say about society
Catch the mist, catch the myth
Catch the mystery, catch the drift

The world is, the world is
Love and life are deep
Maybe as his skies are wide

Today's Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the space he invades
He gets by on you

No his mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent
He knows changes aren't permanent
But change is

What you say about his company
Is what you say about society
Catch the witness, catch the wit
Catch the spirit, catch the spit

The world is, the world is
Love and life are deep
Maybe as his eyes are wide

Exit the warrior
Today's Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the energy you trade
He gets right on to the friction of the day

Sort-Of Victories

2009-03-29T13:39:00.004-04:00

Sort-of victories:

-One of my students who is classified as Emotionally Disturbed wrote his essay about how he doesn't believe in violence and nonviolence should be the way of the world. He talked about how there are people at our school that he would like to hurt, but doesn't because he thinks first and doesn't "attack" them. Yeah. Tough spot to be in. Of course we all have this urge at times, but when it comes from a student that is classified as E.D. I can't just brush it off. The wonderfully courageous thing here is that this student--who is severely withdrawn in two others of his four core classes--feels safe enough in my classroom to write his feelings. That's a beautiful and strong thing and a huge step for him. But it of course also places me in a tough position as I had to bring this to Guidance's attention. I want him to keep writing his feelings, and I don't want to stifle that creative outlet. I don't know how this all is going to pan out yet. They want me to talk to him, and while I believe this could leave his trust in me and my class intact, I'm not sure I'm the person who is qualified to do this. I'd love to hear all of your thoughts on this one.

-And on the violence tip, one of my more volatile students had a second episode of somewhat-justifiable outrage. Well, the outrage is totally justifiable, but the actions not so much. This is a student--one of the minuscule few in the Land O'Plenty--whose family moved out of a working-class neighborhood and who has actually seen (not lived in, but seen) poverty and the effects of it first-hand. His demeanor is one I know too well--the boys I grew up with from the blue-collar families around my were are as pride-filled and full of strong ideas about what it means to "be a man." I know the attitude--and I know the shortcomings and short-changing that comes with it. But it is what it is, I suppose. Earlier in the year, he pushed another student who had placed his hands on a girl--an act this student found absolutely unacceptable, an act the violated one of the maxims by which he lives, and who can disagree? He was awarded by Guidance for his acts that day, and I'm not sure I can find it in me to take issue with that reward. He came to the violent rescue again this week when an incident occurred in which a white male student said to a black female student (one of mine, and one of four black students in the eighth grade class), "What, do you think you're cool because you're black?" Again, my student--who is white--was angered by this injustice. It's tough, because I'm angered by the injustice, too. In fact, I'm infuriated by that comment. It's a sad example of how far we have yet to go as a country and, honestly, how much work we have to do as a school community that likes to claim it is full of tolerance and diversity. And how do you punish someone for trying to help someone else? For being offended by a terribly offensive comment? By the same token, he can't go around saving the world with his fists. Interestingly, this is the same student who was entertaining the possibility of writing the following belief for his essay: "toughness comes from the heart, not the fist." A sort-of victory for sure.

-One of my students has Asperger's and faces difficulty with socially connecting with other students. He's so smart and so funny. He's come a ridiculously far way since September and can be seen laughing and joking with students in my class. He raises his hand often and does not seem encumbered by the same crippling shyness and awkwardness he feels in other parts of the school. His mom and I have been in touch since September and this is one parent who has said some of the kindest, warmest things to me--remembering them makes me truly feel like a real teacher helps me weather some of my darkest moments of doubt. Lately, though, this student has been having a tough time during lunch and--according to mom--has been coming home watery-eyed even though he tried to be brave and say his day was o.k. I'm trying to devise some plans to have him and another boy who is kind and might be a friend to him come to my room a couple times a week during my extra-help lunches just to have them help out and hang out. It just breaks my heart that he's having a hard time lately and I hope we can find a way to ease the anxiety he feels. Think about how brave this boy is to just wake up and come to school each day. This about what a feat it is for him to step into a building that makes him feel such strong unease. And think about him the next time you start feeling sorry for yourself. I do.

"Art Wins! Art Wins!"

2009-03-29T12:38:00.004-04:00

This is a post about teaching. . .

but the post title borrowed from Kanye West's blog. . . he kind of sums up exactly how I feel about him and his work in his own words: "you gotta love it, though, somebody still speak from his soul." Not long ago, in fact, I used some lyrics from Kanye for my students to practice this new, crazy NJASK task where they have to read & interpret a quote. I figure, let's keep it familiar at least some of the time for them. They'll have plenty of Confucius to work with later.

We've had an interesting couple weeks in the Land O' Plenty. The kids are getting pretty dramatic and pretty antsy and pretty. . . ugh, hormonal. They are SUCH 8th graders right now. Which is at times amusing and at times an instructional feat. We're all ready for a break--5 days and counting!

Small victories in which art is definitely winning:

-My students are pumped about submitting their "This I Believe" essays to National Public Radio's website for this segment, thisibelieve.org. NPR chooses essays to publish online and sometimes records writers reading them for the radio segment. I am just glowing with pride for them--while I have a dozen or so "I believe that if I put my mind to something, I can do it" carbon-copy essays, there are some essays that are filled with such emotional honesty that I'm blown away. And some of my most struggling writers produced the most articulate work, some of them finding their writer's voices for the first time in a while. I had two students write about what they believe as a result of losing a parent--the language was stark and powerful. One student wrote about coping with a learning disability and how overcoming it informed her beliefs, while another framed his belief by discussing how hard his mother fought to help him overcome severe handicaps as a young child--the doctors did not believe he would ever walk or talk and now he's perfectly typical.

We held a publishing celebration for our essays and the students did a fair job of crafting genuine praise and positive feedback for the work of their peers.

The website for This I Believe was helpful and I employed a couple of their curricular ideas for this unit, adding in some resources from a cooperating teacher I worked with a couple years ago. I'm looking forward to making this unit even stronger next year.

Hooray for authentic audiences. Whether my students get published by NPR or not, we're all feeling like winners already.

-One of my girls told me last week how she never thought she was a good reader or writer, or "good at English" but now she does and she's taking Honors English next year. This is a girl who I had to pull aside a couple months ago and talk with--she was getting a little obsessed with climbing the social ladder and in the process was really changing into a person she was not. I was impressed with her reaction to my thoughts, which were that she was way too smart and cool to be changing who she really is for others. I saw her gradually return to the kind, caring girl she was to start with and--perhaps to her surprise--her social status didn't suffer a bit.

-My differentiated independent study project on tolerance--including a whole host of issues from race in America to the Holocaust--is working marvelously. The students are gaining a unique understanding of various issues that they have chosen to explore. Resources included in the options range from Obama's speech on race to the MLK obituary all the way to issues of immigration and schooling. It's based on a tiered-point system that matches up with Bloom's Taxonomy. Thanks, Mom, for the wonderful template!

pics npr.org; kanyeuniversitycity.com/blog

Trivial Pursuit Redux

2009-03-09T21:51:00.008-04:00

I promise the constant barrage of consumerism is coming to a screeching halt soon (alas, an income tax return only lasts for so long).

Here's the depressingly tiny image of my spring handbag. It's the most beautiful shade of blue:

And here is a larger photo of the bag in black:

For some reason blogger is giving me an issue with uploading a gif. Guess who doesn't know how to fix it?

Blue is a pretty uncharacteristic color for me to choose, but I have an obscene number of black handbags and I figured the blue would be adorable with my new spring jacket and flats (neither of which are yet in my possession). Needless to say, this was not a "will this fit in with my work clothes?" purchase, as most of my work clothes are black. I've stopped asking myself that question, thankfully.

So, the ridiculous thing about this bag is I scooped it up for less than half (about 60% off, to be sort of exact) of what it is selling for right this second on the kooba website. Fashion is so very ludicrous sometimes. Thank goodness for Gilt Groupe. Now don't rain on my parade and tell me some horror story about how Gilt manages to work this voodoo. And don't tell me I'm insane--I'm an equal-opportunity style hunter when it comes to clothes and shoes, but when it comes to bags I have a serious affliction. We all have our vices.

Images Gilt Groupe and kooba.

Variation of Interpretation

2009-03-08T21:52:00.008-04:00

I haven't given a "test" all year, besides a short-answer thing on our Edgar Allen Poe unit; for culminating assessments I've created a range of multi-options individual and group projects. So I decided to put together a quasi-test for The Boy In the Striped Pajamas. The students participated in a Socratic Seminar one day, which accounted for 30 points of their test grade, and a written test the next day. The written 70-point test avoided, of course, any trappings of the traditional (i.e., multiple choice, t/f, matching). Instead, I asked students to choose and respond to a few quotes that highlighted multiple issues and layers in the story. They were asked to indicate why the quotes were significant by discussing what the quotes showed about the characters or how these quotes were important to events that occurred. In addition, I asked them to respond to two open-ended questions.

Needless to say, lots of writing to read through. But very worth it, as the students truly had the opportunity to show me what they each learned and how they each uniquely interpreted the characters and events in the novel. I believe this was an effective assessment. The range of responses I received convinced me that the students all took away important ideas and enduring understandings from the novel. They did marvelously.

In particular, their ability to discuss structures of power has greatly improved. We built on many of the ideas we started thinking and talking about during The Outsiders. Further, I was super impressed by how many now not only understand the concept of dehumanization but can spontaneously (meaning with zero mention or reference to on my part) and successfully use it to interpret ideas in writing and in conversation. And not only did it come up quite often in a test that did not include the word once, it has also been included on a few Weekly Word Study lists!

As I read through their open-ended responses, I discovered that only a few students chose to respond to an open-ended question I had debated including: "Choose the essential question you saw as most important to our reading. Give your own version of a response to it; explain how this question helps you better understand at least two different characters or situations."

I knew this would be a question that challenged them and that only some students would take it on. I almost didn't keep it, but decided it was worth seeing what direction they could take it in. I was surprised to discover that one of my struggling readers chose to give it a go. Let us call her Terri. Terri struggles a great deal with basic conventions of writing and with comprehension. She is usually rather quiet in class, save for the uncharacteristically talkative role she played in Socratic Seminar the day before the test (see below for more on this). As I read her response, I couldn't have been happier about my choice to include this question as one of our E.Q.'s and as part of the test.

Here's her response, word-for-word:

I think the most inportant essential question from this unit is "what roles do our family and our social background play in shaping our values, beliefs and perceptions"? This question is like what the hole book is about Bruno has a germon back round so he is hier [higher] up the [than] Shmuel that has a Jewish background. This question helped me understand because Bruno doesent cair he just sees a little boy his age he doesent mind his back ground or aney of that stuff. But father is a Natzy so Bruno is adumedicly [automatically] soposte hate th Jewish people.

So, did she answer each part of the question exactly? No. Let's put that aside, though, because there are a few brilliantly clear understandings going on here. First, Terri knows that Bruno "is hier up," or has more power than Shmuel. Yeah, yeah, you're saying in your head, duh, he's German and Shmuel's Jewish. But you're not 13, ok? And this is a really important fact to acknowledge if one is going to analyze the world from Bruno's perspective. Then she says something that really impresses me. She knows what Bruno's background is, and thus, according to it, how he's supposed to act towards Shmuel (automatically supposed to hate him, or at least think he is far better than him), but she flips the essential question right on its head and says that--which is absolutely the truth--Bruno just sees Shmuel as a friend, another boy, not one ounce different from himself. Bruno "doesent mind his back ground," even after Father tells Bruno that the people on the other side of the fence aren't people at all. This declaration on Father's part makes it clear to Bruno that his visiting Shmuel would be considered very wrong indeed if discovered. Again, this may seem like a really obvious interpretation to you. But Terri took the idea that our backgrounds shape our perceptions and decided that yeah, while they do, this also helps me understand that Bruno decided to operate on his own set of values, which inherently assumes that people are equal regardless of what Father seems to think. Ok, ok, and my heart smiled when Terri wrote, "this question is like what the hole book is about." Because, well, it kind of is.

Another beautifully perceptive response--this time to a quote where Gretel tries to explain to Bruno what they are, and decides that they're definitely the "Opposite" of the Jews, anyhow--from one of my most struggling readers in another class: "the significance is that religion of race didn't mean anything to [Gretel and Bruno] they just knew that they were on the better side of the fence." Yeah, that's basically it. The kids, for sure Gretel, understood their superiority without having to be told that it existed.

Students prepared for our Socratic Seminar by crafting three discussion questions the day before it commenced. They came in and were solely responsible for facilitating their own conversations--absolutely no input or direction from me. There is an inner circle which discusses and an outer circle that listens and takes notes on interesting conversation, then they switch. The outer circle is not permitted to jump in with comments at any time, much to their chagrin. Here are some highlights (ok, and a few that could be termed low points--but funny, pretty funny. Funny is their saving grace sometimes, no?) from the Socratic Seminar:

Possibly the best, most concise description of who Father is an what he's about:
Student 1: "So what was Father? A good soldier? A good father?"
Student 2: "Neither. Just a man. Doing a job."

A question that prompted a great discussion of the question of Mother's complicity: "If you were a woman of that time, would you stand up for your opinion?"

A student says this while the principal was in the room, I wanted to hug her: "Well, I think it really relates to the essential question we have about power and how it makes you see the world."

A question that caused much heated debate, believe it or not: "Is Bruno a round character or a flat one?"

On why Father didn't notice Mother's questionable relationship with another soldier: "Well, he was busy with the whole Nazi thing."

On why Father becomes ill-tempered and vicious after Bruno's death: "He lost somebody. He could be an alcoholic now." Deceptively simple, yeah?

On why Father is a Nazi at all, a comment that shows how far we have to learn yet (:::cringe:::): "Maybe he just really likes Jesus."

And, of course, the Seminar would not have been complete without: "YOU'RE NOT IN THE CIRCLE, RYAN!"

Prose Friday or Walking Contradiction

2009-03-05T22:12:00.007-05:00

Serious eye and sincere life indeed. . .

In typical Libra style, a little H.D. Thoreau for some much-needed balance around here. . . a most cherished passage from Walden, "Economy:"

We worship not the Graces, nor the Parcae, but Fashion. She spins and weaves and cuts with full authority. The head monkey at Paris puts on a traveller's cap, and all the monkeys in America do the same. I sometimes despair of getting anything quite simple and honest done in this world by the help of men. They would have to be passed through a powerful press first, to squeeze their old notions out of them, so that they would not soon get upon their legs again, and then there would be some one in the company with a maggot in his head, hatched from an egg deposited there nobody knows when, for not even fire kills these things, and you would have lost your labour. . .

On the whole, I think that it cannot be maintained that dressing has in this or any country risen to the dignity of an art . . . All costume off a man is pitiful or grotesque. It is only the serious eye peering from and the sincere life passed within it, which restrain laughter and consecrate the costume of any people.

P.S.--I have an exciting post to do all about our Socratic Seminar the other day, complete with quotes straight from the mouths of babes. They did so well it makes me all teary to think about it!

Better to Burn Out than to Fade Away

2009-02-19T21:40:00.003-05:00

There are plenty of songs I love, even prefer, to hear in acoustic. Neil's "Hey Hey My My" just isn't one of them. It doesn't get much better for my money, folks. . .

The crowd's rockin in this version if I ever saw a crowd rockin. . . check for dude with the rad sunglasses around 2:30.

By the way, have you discovered pandora radio yet? You create stations based on favorite artists or songs, and the site plays other songs they think you might like that include similar musical qualities. So far only a few of the channels have gone south with the recommendations (The Mamas and the Papas, for example, because all I really wanted to hear was "California Dreamin and I ended up with way too much Paul Simon); most keep me jammin through free time in my school day. My Neil station is bringing all kinds of forgotten favorites back.

Poetry Friday (early!)

2009-02-12T21:54:00.005-05:00

I know, I can't believe it either. Though I'm not a real rhyming poetry lover, this week it's Yeats. The first poem I love because it makes me wonder who the women are he's talking about and how each came into his life. Maybe you've already read extensive biographies of Yeats and know all about each one. For me, it's a mystery. The second, well, maybe you've read it a thousand times. Maybe you hate it. Maybe it's kind of a downer of a choice with Valentine's Day on the horizon. But for me, it's all that one line--"loved the pilgrim soul. . ."

Friends

Now must I these three praise
Three women that have wrought
What joy is in my days:
One because no thought,
Nor those unpassing cares,
No, not in these fifteen
Many-times-troubled years,
Could ever come between
Mind and delighted mind;
And one because her hand
Had strength that could unbind
What none can understand,
What none can have and thrive,
Youth's dreamy load, till she
So changed me that I live
Labouring in ecstasy.
And what of her that took
All till my youth was gone
With scarce a pitying look?
How could I praise that one?
When day begins to break
I count my good and bad,
Being wakeful for her sake,
Remembering what she had,
What eagle look still shows,
While up from my heart's root
So great a sweetness flows
I shake from head to foot.

_____________________

When you are old

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Not Defunct

2009-02-09T16:51:00.001-05:00

You hear that? Not defunct. I've got so many things to blog about but am so tired I can barely see straight when I get home. And now I'm sick. I'll be back to normal soon.

Awwwwwwwwwww Yeah

2009-01-28T10:33:00.002-05:00

Two words: snow.day.

One more: happiness.

Okay, four more: slept.till.ten.o'clock.

Exactly How I Feel

2009-01-25T15:57:00.001-05:00

“What was once educationally significant, but difficult to measure, has been replaced by what is insignificant and easy to measure. So now we test how well we have taught what we do not value.”
Arthur L. Costa

Thanks to the ladies at Two Writing Teachers from bringing this to my attention.

I'm Focused, Man or Notes from a Novice

2009-01-19T18:02:00.003-05:00

I know it's been like a wasteland around here lately. I've been so consumed with work! These last couple weeks have been unendingly busy. We've been writing our short stories and I've been gearing up for a unit on The Boy in the Striped Pajamas/Holocaust/injustice/inhumanity/etc. . . don't worry, the essential questions are much clearer than the unit title(s?) . Here they are, please provide feedback:

1. How do our family and our social background shape our values, beliefs and perceptions?

2. If one knows of evil, inhumanity or injustice and does nothing to stop it, is one complicit in it?

3. How can power isolate and dehumanize those who possess it?

4. What does it mean to be a true friend?

Because of the nature of my position at this time, or rather the nature of the positions of others, I made these up myself without dialoguing with a single soul besides mom (thanks, mom) so please provide any thoughts you might have about them--constructive criticism is very welcome.

I'm so excited about question number three. Paulo Freire, a.k.a. my hero, wrote that when people who are oppressed resist their oppressor, it is in fact an act of love--they are in fact making the oppressor more human. So that must mean that somewhere along the way, the oppressor became less human. Certainly when people yield power to oppress others, they are dehumanized by their own actions and by the thought processes (or lack thereof?) that drive the actions. Bruno's father in the book is certainly isolated and in some ways can be seen as dehumanized--one instance of his dehumanization is when he tells Bruno that the people on the other side of the fence aren't people at all. One would, in my book, simply have to be dehumanized in order to make a statement like that.

Essential question two relates to the complicity of Bruno's mother and grandfather in the persecution of the Jews. I want to touch on the grandmother's resistance to her son's position and the fact that it didn't really matter because she was not only a female but an old one and so had no power in the Nazi society. This also raises the question of whether Bruno's mother's resistance, had she resisted, could have possibly even mattered or changed a thing. It's a tangled, nuanced web. . . and one that needs to be explored.

I'm so-so on question four. The friendship theme needs to be touched on. . . I don't want to be discouraging, but I really want to get to the heart of the matter and ask the students whether or not two people can really be true friends when one is of the oppressor group and the other of the oppressed. I'm afraid the answers we will come to will either be too simplistic or too depressing. . . and I'm also unsure of whether I'm asking the right question at all. When it comes down to it, Bruno, I believe, can't really be Shmuel's real friend. He betrays Shmuel when he tells a soldier that he had never seen him before. He is arrogant and insensitive and doesn't listen to Shmuel or try to empathize with his sorrows. And whether you are 9 or 90, that's just not being a good friend. But then we have the ending. . . so I'm just not sure. Maybe the question I have is just broad enough, anyhow. Or maybe not.

In other news. . .

We also began our PERSONAL SPELLING LISTS! Our weekly word studies now consist of our own 5 words. Everyone's words are different according to their individual spelling needs. It's based off of Atwell's program, which is adapted from Rebecca Sitton's process though without the class-wide lists. And I'm committing to doing at least 4 words a week, too. The kids are so pumped about it. I talked for a while about how the purpose of the program switch was to align what I am teaching with their needs, that it's my job to meet their needs, that I'm going to teach them how to learn these words, and on and on and on and I think they got it. My once-believed brilliant Word Study of the past, comprised of 5 words that centered on a root, was simply not doing it for us--I had way too many consistent C's and even. . . dare I. . . D's and plenty of A's. But no B's and no one getting better. No improvement. So they completely understand that the shift is for them and that it's up to them to put in the amount of work needed to improve as spellers. Almost every single student got 4/5 or 5/5 words correct on their first quiz. Good stuff, folks. Good stuff.

Uncharacteristic, I Know

2009-01-04T16:33:00.005-05:00

But I couldn't resist sharing this, from Garance Doré. This look is perfection. And I sorta wish my hair looked like this every day of my life.

Character Development, or, Atwell is My Homegirl

2009-01-03T21:05:00.005-05:00

As we were so consumed with The Outsiders. . . and with finishing it before break, writing workshop time decreased. We're kicking into full swing when we come back.

For our Short Story unit, I'm sticking with the pro--Nancie Atwell (you wouldn't have guessed)--and leaning heavily on her craft lessons from Lessons That Change Writers. As a new teacher, I've found Lessons. . . to be one of the best investments if not the single best investment in a teaching resource. I can't think of another source I would rather lean on. Anyhow, We've already done Character Questionnaires and some rudimentary exercises in getting to know our characters--basic physical description via an imitation of a passage from The Outsiders; dialogue-response from character perspective using prompts; explorations of how we would want our characters to act in certain scenarios. In these next couple weeks, we're going to continue to focus heavily on character considerations, closely examine short story structure, play with our leads, add thoughts and feelings, and draft, draft, draft!

We'll be looking at mentor short story texts in order to think about how to accomplish some of craft lessons on which mini-lessons will focus. For my mini-lesson on ways to develop a character, I was thinking carefully about how I could demonstrate the concepts of the lesson without having my students read another whole short story. Of course, the next logical solution came to mind--a children's book. Before I get into which text I chose, below is a condensed and shortened list of Ways to Develop a Character, straight from Lesson #33 in Atwell's Lessons. . . The following categories connect to and parallel the 5 methods of characterization I introduced my students to in order to examine craft in The Outsiders. Basic, perhaps, but helpful and direct nonetheless, the 5 methods are: What a Character Says, Looks Like, Does (Actions), Thinks and What Others Say and Think about the Character.

Here is the Atwell list of Ways to Develop a Character:

-Reflection: Show what your character is thinking and feeling

-Dialogue: Get your character talking as a way to reveal himself or herself

-Actions: Get your character up and moving around, doing things both little and big that show what he or she is like

-Flashback: Recall events from the past that show why your character is behaving as he or she does today

-Reaction: Show how your character responds to actions, words, ideas, of others

-Other Characters: Compare and contrast your character's actions, reactions, beliefs, values with those of others. . .

-Quirks: Imagine the habits, interests, skills, hobbies, goals, fears, tastes and preferences, daydreams, and nightmares that will flesh out your character. . .

-Intimate Setting: Create your character's bedroom and fill it with the stuff of his or her life that reveals parts of the past and present

-Beloved Object or Pet: Give your character something to love that reveals his or her private self. . .

Maybe I should say I thought long and hard about some of my favorite children's book characters. But that would be deceptive, because when I thought about well-developed and dynamic characters, there was one children's book character that sprung to mind immediately. I think you'll agree that she serves as a fine example of a developed character. Behold:

Olivia. Pretentious, curious, brave--brazen maybe--easily annoyed at times, hilariously lovable and loving. Intelligent. Olivia! She's perfect.

We'll be reading the original Olivia and Olivia. . . And the Missing Toy by Ian Falconer in order to facilitate our discussion of how to develop characters in short texts. Of course Olivia doesn't fit each and every category listed on our notes, but the books come pretty damn close and I think Falconer's books will serve as excellent mentor texts for thinking about how to do exactly what Atwell so eloquently recommends: "Don't imagine that you can come back later and scatter some thoughts and feelings, or give your character a sense of humor, a past, a daydream, an attitude, a yearning, a personality, after the fact. Invest right from the start in details of characters: collect a person."

What fun! And don't even think about rolling your eyes. Eighth graders turn into instant second graders when a read-aloud rolls around.

On the back boiler: E.Q.'s for our next class novel, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Just finished it. Whew. Lots to think about. Lots.

Never Underestimate the Loving: Poetry Friday

2009-01-02T19:12:00.004-05:00

A little Neruda is in order, no?

"Ode to Walt Whitman" is too long to include in its entirety. And there aren't any versions online that I could find. You'll just have to savor what's here. . . translation by Greg Simon.

Ode to Walt Whitman

I can't recall my age, or if
I was in the vast streaming South,
or on some forbidding coastline
where seagulls wheeled & cried . . .
But I touched a hand that day,
& it was Walt Whitman's hand.
And barefoot I walk the earth,
I wade through tenacious dew
in the grasslands of Whitman.

Throughout my entire childhood,
my companion was that hand
with dew on it, the timber
of its patriarchal pine,
the expanse of its prairie,
its mission of articulate peace.

And Walt did not disdain
all the gifts of the earth,
the capital's surfeit of curves,
the purple initial of learning,
but taught me to be americano,
& raised my eyes to books,
toward the treasure that we find
inside a kernel of wheat.

. . .

Your voice, that's still singing
in the suburban stations, on
the unloading docks at night . . .
Your word, that's still splashing
like dark water . . .
And your people, black, white,
poor & simple, like all people
still not forgetting
the tolling of your bell . . .

They congregate & sing
beneath the magnitude
of your spacious life.
They walk among the people
with your love. They caress
the pure development
of fraternity on earth.

Lovely, yes?

Cultivating Awareness

2009-01-01T23:49:00.006-05:00

I know I haven't talked much about what's been going on in the classroom lately. I've been so consumed with work that blogging about anything but it was ions more appealing for a little while.

We just finished The Outsiders and it was an instructional success! The students absolutely adored the novel, as they always do and always will.

Essential Question creation is a place where I expend a lot of brainpower--and for good reason. It's so. . . er, essential to have solid questions that help students go inside a text and explore with a sense of the issues they will encounter. Good E.Q.'s provide students with a much-needed framework from which to dive into their own interpretations of text. I consulted peers, internet sources and my own understanding of what is important in The Outsiders in crafting our E.Q.'s, and I was fairly content with how most of them worked out--not to suggest that they will not be improved upon in the future.

It was clear to me that the students saw the relevance of the questions to the characters, situations, and themes of the novel and we were able to refer to the E.Q.'s at various points in our discussions of the book. It was also clear that my students understood these questions to be investigations of import that connected to their lives and to reality, not just to words on the page. I went with 4 E.Q.'s, partly because I couldn't help my long-winded self and partly because I wanted to experiment and see if 4 was too many--to see which were frivolous and which were substantive. Please feel free to comment on whether or not the E.Q.'s below fit your definition of what E.Q.'s actually are, as it seems that there are as many definitions as teachers I talk to about it. . .
Ok, so they were:

1. How does the balance of power in society influence justice, fairness and relationships?

2. What factors create prejudice and what can individuals do to overcome it?

3. Why is it difficult to grow up and reflect on our lost innocence?

4. What factors contribute to a person's identity?

Most certainly, #3 was the question that ended up being the least-explored over the duration of our reading. And perhaps with good reason. Sure, my students got the whole "Nothing Gold Can Stay" message. They knew exactly what Cherry meant when she told Pony and Johnny that they were "Not innocent. . . seen too much to be innocent. . . just not dirty." And they sure saw the ways in which all of the Greasers--in their own ways--were forced to grow up quick in order to survive. But that's sorta where we departed from E.Q. 3 and headed into the territory covered by E.Q.'s 1 and 2.

The first and fourth E.Q.'s were by far the most successful. I was so pleased with my students' willingness to go inside issues of privilege and power, especially because they seemed keenly aware of their own place in the spectrum of wealth (the side that has lots of it). I thought it would be difficult for them to look at issues the text raises such as access to health care, legal services and social institutions. Quite to the contrary, I saw them looking at the world from new perspectives, thinking critically about access, social class, and wealth and doing so while consciously grappling with their own places within society.

The E.Q. about identity worked well, I think, because it just responds to their developmentally appropriately self-centered selves. The connections to their lives with that one are endless. They see that Pony and Cherry and Johnny, even Bob the Soc and most of the other important characters in the novel are struggling to in one way or another figure out or preserve who they are or want to be as individuals and in relation to the social whole. They are reacting to and learning about the limitations of the social and economic structures already in place. My students are doing the same each and every waking moment. Man, adolescence is tough.

Once we finished the book, I asked them to return to their Anticipation Guide answers and to think about how the book changed the way they thought about someone or something, or the world. Their most-cited world-view change was a shift in the original belief that gang members and criminals are always bad people. Many now believed that they most certainly were not. A monumental shift? Well, for an 8th grader. . . yeah, it kinda is. Moving from black-and-white determinations of the world--often based in their parents' economic, political, and social identities--to a recognition of an off-putting but nonetheless present grey area is HUGE for this age group. It's a crucial step into young adulthood--beginning to not define people as inherently good or bad but rather as people who make decisions that can then be classified according to the context in which they are made. And maybe they're just changing their minds on paper. Maybe my fervent little pro-death-penalty adolescents are feeding me the line that they already knew society would rather hear. Maybe. . . but that's not the impression I got. And regardless of my relative inexperience in the field, my intuition is pretty damn good.

While I Procrastinate, or, One Little Word

2008-12-31T14:32:00.002-05:00

My students' Short Story writing unit is kicking into full swing when we get back, and I've all but finished writing the last day of next week's plans, so a little distraction never hurt.

I learned about One Little Word from the lovely ladies over at Two Writing Teachers. Distilled, the idea is to choose just one little word instead of creating a hefty and most likely too-ambitious tome of resolutions for the new year. Well, I've been thinking hard about what my little word will be. Many changes have come in this last year. More than change, though, I've transitioned from a college student chomping at the bit to get into the field to an exhausted first-year teacher who can't find much else that matches the feeling of creating good lessons that help my students grow as readers, writers and critical citizens. I've learned that in addition to maturing professionally, I'm maturing personally in ways I hadn't expected nor foresaw. I'm seeing with greater clarity the blessings that exist in my life. My one little word, a long time coming, is:

Grateful.

It's not the prettiest word. Nor the most profound. But it's a place that I want--and need--to visit more often. I'm discovering how good it feels to be grateful--how it can lift me out of a gray mood or reroute my thoughts when I start feeling sorry for myself. Yes, as I change and grow and learn my way through 2009, I will try to remember to be at all times grateful for a whole host of people, factors and circumstances that contribute to my well-being and the well-being of those I love.

What will your One Little Word be? Think on it.

Even Bloggers Get the Blues

2008-12-26T10:15:00.008-05:00

I know you are all impressed by my stunningly creative post title. Thank you, thank you. I just started the book--a 1977 copy from my mother's bookshelf and the first book in a while that she cautioned me against losing or wrecking. And I see why!

For starters, I want to say that if I were a writer, I would want to write just like Tom Robbins. Many a professor has either marveled or cringed (or both) at my ability to craft meandering sentences that, while remaining grammatically correct and while avoiding the status of run-on, could be much aided by a period, semicolon, dash (my personal favorite) or colon here or there. And while I was thoroughly not Faulknerian by any stretch of the imagination, Tom Robbins is slightly so, with a deliciously mild hippie--hear that, NOT hipster, hippie--edge.

Most impressive to me, thus far, though, is Robbins' acute and eerily applicable portrayal of economic, political and social realities of America. (No way, TPBN, you say, you? Enjoying the political and social implications of a book? Get right out of town. . .).

Here are some passages which I expect will become most cherished and dear to me:

So Sissy lived in Richmond, Virginia, in the Eisenhower Years, so called as if the passing seasons, with their eggs hatching and rivers rising, their cakes baking and stars turning, their legs dancing and hearts melting, their lamas levitating and poets doing likewise, their cheerleaders getting laid at drive-in picture shows and old men dying in rooms over furniture stores, as if they, the passing seasons, could be branded by a mere President; as if time itself could toddle out of Kansas and West Point, popularize a military jacket and seek election to Eternity on the Republican ticket.

Faulknerian, indeed. And beautifully so. This idea of not defining time and nature and the minute details that encompass human life simply by, in his words, mere external circumstances such as Presidency is of great interest to me. We get so wrapped up in the states of our political reality that selves get lost and people are forgotten--even by the candidates chosen to represent them, at times.

But plans are one thing and fate another. When they coincide, success results. Yet success mustn't be considered the absolute. It is questionable, for that matter, whether success is an adequate response to life. Success can eliminate as many options as failure.

I like this because we tend to think of those who take traditional paths to "successful lives" as those who have done the right thing, but really what they've done is behave conventionally. And I'm not proposing that there is anything wrong with a little conventionality, but by the same token there isn't so much wrong with unconventionality. I love the last sentence. It's undeniable. If you consider yourself "successful," imagine all of the ways in which you life could be different if you hadn't chosen the path you did. Maybe in some ways it could be way worse, but maybe there are sources of happiness that could have been pursued had you not made it to where you are today. Or maybe not. But the mere act of thinking about it makes true that last sentence. I know I'll remember those words the next time (yes, I admit it has happened before and will happen again) I begin to judge someone's choices or lifestyle.

And then, there's this really long passage from which I will take only a small, wonderful example of Robbins' mastery of his art:
With me, something different and deep, in bright focus and pointing the way, arrived in the practice of hitchhiking. I am the spirit and the heart of hitchhiking, I am its cortex and its medulla, I am its foundation and its culmination, I am the jewel in its lotus. And when I am really moving, stopping car after car after car, moving so freely, so clearly, so delicately that even the sex maniacs and the cops can only blink and let me pass, then I embody the rhythms of the universe, I feel what it is like to be the universe, I am in a state of grace.

Amazing, right? Maybe I'm missing the point. Maybe Robbins is being funny here, and satirical and whatnot, describing hitchhiking in such an overzealous way. Well, even if he is, my highest hope is to one day feel about my own life's calling and passion something like the way Sissy feels about hitchhiking. I know I'll get there. And if we've learned anything here at O.T.L., we've learned that authorial intention means nothing, right friends?

And a Happy New Year

2008-12-25T10:02:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas, all!

Meditate On It

2008-12-19T16:36:00.004-05:00

There aren't many things more beautiful than watching the snow fall through a classroom window. . . save, perhaps, for the sight of my students' faces as they watch.

Best Excuse for Poetry Friday

2008-12-18T22:17:00.005-05:00

Leonard Cohen's heartbreakingly wonderful "Bird on a Wire"

Like a bird on the wire,
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
Like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee.
If I, if I have been unkind,
I hope that you can just let it go by.
If I, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you.

Like a baby, stillborn,
Like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
And by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee.
I saw a young man leaning on his wooden crutch,
He called out to me, don't ask for so much.
And a young woman leaning in her darkened door,
She cried to me, hey, why not ask for more?

Oh like a bird on the wire,
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.

Here's the incomparable Johnny Cash performing it. . .

In Solidarity

2008-12-14T18:57:00.009-05:00

Workers at the Republic Windows & Doors Plant in Chicago were victorious in their occupation of the plant after being laid off without proper notice and without access to severance/vacation pay and health insurance owed to them by law. Bank of America and other institutions agreed to pay the $2 million they initially refused to give up. BoA was not required to do so but gave in due to the occupation, political pressure and media coverage.

This victory is a clear reminder of what can be done when people come together and demand equality. It's not unachievable. Causes are not lost. This article quotes the union v.p. saying, "See that sign up there? Without us, it would just say 'Republic,' because we make the windows and doors. This shows that you can fight--and that you have to fight." Powerful stuff. I would like to hear more from the workers too, not just the vp. It's important to note and not take for granted the presence of widespread media coverage of the workers' struggle and of the factors surrounding the violations of the company:

"Press coverage was affected as well. For once, the media not only highlighted the issues in a labor struggle, but also used its resources to investigate the employer. The Chicago Tribune
reported that Republic's main owner, Rich Gillman, was involved in the purchase of a nonunion window factory in Iowa to move to. Journalists also uncovered evidence that Bank of America refused repeated requests to extend more credit to Republic, despite its infusion of bailout money."

BoA gets $25 bil. Workers? Not a damn thing. Until they fought for it. And don't think for a second that BoA is just doing the right thing or being caring by any measure. They simply couldn't afford--image wise--to not give the measly (to them) $2 mil after everyone, all the way up to the O man, took the side of the workers.

Perhaps the workers of the Republic Windows & Doors plant will serve as a galvanizing example of what can be done to improve things in this country through working-class solidarity.

Let's all take a moment in our hectic lives to pause and think about the importance of this outcome and to be refreshed and encouraged in a time of desperation and darkness.

pics socialistworker.org

Random Acts of Music

2008-12-13T10:09:00.002-05:00

Wind & Wuthering is one of my most favorite albums ever.

Oh No They Didn't

2008-12-10T16:40:00.007-05:00

Urban Outfitters pulled the t-shirt above from stores last week. Check out this article, and this one too if you're interested. How is it that supporting an oppressed group's human rights could be even slightly offensive? And it's not a little bit ironic that they would be so bigoted and discriminatory and yet have the chutzpah to carry the following:

and this, which is offensive in its own right, perhaps:

and the kicker, a call to end oppression of another sort (the struggles of all people for rights are not equal, silly):

It's interesting to contemplate the impact of the political leanings corporate giants. Years ago, Michael Jordan quipped "Republicans buy sneakers, too" in defense of his lack of endorsement of an African American mayor's bid for a seat in the Senate. This dude Hayne, U.O. owner, is a major Republic/right-wing supporter. You know, I don't have as much of a problem with his political affiliation (though I do have a problem with it, to be fair) than I do with the fact that he was too cowardly to come out and say why he pulled the shirts. One buyer, as the first article points out, claimed that the shirt was pulled because of "bad press--"an excuse for which there is absolutely zero evidence. What a crappy excuse. My 8th graders are more persuasive. Way more.

I'm not saying everyone has to be Dov Charney--far from it, indeed, for dude and company come with their own set of issues--but at least give real reasons for your actions. He admits to using sex and sexual images as selling points and doesn't make any apologies. If your company is going to pull shirts that support same-sex marriage, why not just say it's because you don't support same-sex marriage? I'd rather buy from a company belonging to an honest if bigoted owner than one who hides behind his decisions and refuses to be accountable for them. Come to think of it, I don't want to buy from either. So I don't think I will. Not that my lack of patronage will send U.O. into a tailspin only to be saved by the socialism-is-only-for-the-rich government. Since we can't regulate ignorance and hatred, I suppose I will just have to regulate where my paycheck goes. . .

Too bad, too. Perhaps those shirts could have helped U.O. seem like less of a horrendously trendy mess.

This quote from the New York Magazine article is priceless:
"When a right-wing Republican is the one concocting your anti-Establishment image, you start to wonder if the entire hipster movement has been duped into becoming puppets of Hayne's billionaire income."

Oh Yeah, and I'm a Teacher

2008-12-06T00:03:00.005-05:00

Thank goodness November is done. It's a month full of crazy weeks and plenty of days off, but this makes it a real planning challenge--and a challenge to keep a room full of kids' attention with a 5-day weekend staring them in the face.

I realized I haven't posted about what's happening in the classroom for quite a long time. I've been so frantically busy that processing teacher stuff here has become less appealing of late, while posting about non-teacher-related issues has been hard to resist. I'm theorizing that this has something to do with that whole process of incorporating my teacher identity into who I am. There are times when I need to talk about every little thing that happened throughout the course of a day, and other times when it's the last thing I want to discuss. And these don't match up with good and bad days as one might assume. Instead, it's more like there are days when I leave school (days! ha! funny. the sun's never still up) and I just want to leave that identity behind for a few hours and be my old self. Or my new self. Either way, what happens in the classroom sticks with me all the time. So at times talking (or posting) about it is sheer redundancy. And sometimes it's absolutely all I can manage to converse about, to the chagrin of plenty. . .

Watching my classroom communities strengthen has been miraculous. The feeling of togetherness and trust is amazing and absolutely lives up to everything I could have asked for. I was modeling the use of Nancie Atwell's Character Questionnaire the other day--we're working on creating interesting, multi-dimensional protagonists facing authentic problems for short stories--and I looked out into a sea of faces who were so genuinely engaged and invested in what I was saying to them and what I was teaching them that it just about took my breath away. I know it seems like a simplistic example of what is going right, but it was truly a moment for the books--an example of everything I've been working to develop with these kids for four months.

And with all that trust and togetherness comes a certain measure of comfort--sometimes a little too much comfort. There was a clear and evident descent into madness during last period on Thursday. This is an 88-minute block at the end of the day, with the same kids, every day. Needless to say, we have our moments. We were reviewing their word study for the week and I decided to include the Hebrew word, chutzpah, as I had used it in passing a couple times and none of them were familiar with it. Somehow, out of nowhere, it became let-me-tell-you-how-many-Hebrew-words-I-know-hour. Well, I try folks. I try so hard to keep a straight face. But kids are funny. They are hilarious, actually. And that's partly why I chose this profession. So try as I might to the contrary, I lose it from time to time. And I lost it. And when I've lost it, we've all lost it. They find one another pretty amusing, but there aren't many things they find more amusing than when you think something is hilarious enough to lose it in their presence--especially if that something is something they said or did. Perhaps their amusement is due to the fact that this is a rare occurrence. I think some people view emotional honesty with students as a weakness of some sort, perhaps a threat to their power. But I'm not in it for that. And when I need to laugh, I need to laugh. And when I need to be frustrated, I need to be frustrated. And the same goes for them. I believe it's not only honest but important to let kids in on how adults manage their emotions--this is, after all, part of what we're supposed to be teaching them. Remaining emotionally distant teaches them to do the same. If I feel genuine disappointment or unadulterated glee, why aren't they deserving enough to know it?

So that's a little snap shot into what's new with the kids and me. I know that I'm teaching Language Arts and I barely touch on instructional practices, etc.; I will try to be better at posting about this. It's just that all that stuff, the "skills and competencies," seem so secondary to the other dimensions of teaching that I like to discuss.

Oh, and out of the mouths of babes: "You were at the top of your class, Ms. [Me]? But I thought people at the top of their class became lawyers and doctors." Yeaahhhh. How's that for the social perception of teachers?

Sadness or Euphoria or Requiem for a Coat

2008-11-30T16:14:00.017-05:00

With all the talk of buyer's remorse this season--unprecedented numbers of shoppers returning items shortly after purchasing them upon realizing they can't shell out whatever they had paid in the first place--I began to contemplate my own recent large purchases and wonder whether or not they were worth it. Recall the Strategies and Tactics coat from Anthro:
O, how I loved this coat. But those beautiful brass buttons kept falling off and drooping like sad little soldiers. And I kept catching them and sewing them back on with my awkward unsteady stitches. Anthropologie has a pretty liberal returns policy, so I called a couple weeks ago, after perhaps button #4 had met its demise, and they assured me I could return it. I didn't. Instead, I waited it out a few weeks. I continued to rescue buttons with shaky sewing. I had a fiery debate with myself as to whether or not I should bring it back. I loved the shape and the epaulletes. I admired the ease with which the piece melded into my wardrobe, and even appreciated the slight Sgt. Peppers undertones when I paired it with my favorite sunglasses. Alas, I lost one button and was without any more substitutes. I know I could have replaced all of them, but I paid enough money for herringbone cotton as it was--not even all that warm. And where I'm from, warm truly does factor into coat purchases.

It's an interesting phenomenon by which I tortured myself with the debate regarding whether or not I should have brought the coat back. It was as though I was personally affronted that the coat did not live up to my expectations. Why do we (and I use the term we loosely, mostly in hopes that I'm not the only weirdo who does this) invest so many emotions in a piece of fabric? I suppose this is the pinnacle of successful marketing: to make the consumer feel as though what they are buying is not just an item devoid of personal meaning, but rather a piece of a certain lifestyle or approach to seeing the world. Maybe this is the source of the Wal-Mart tramplings and hysteria--corporations have led people to believe that the items they desire play such an essential role in their lives that the threat of not having them brings with it anger and desperation. Maybe that's how AIG felt when they had to cancel their next big bash. . .

Back to the coat. . .

Determination to rid myself of this source of frustration, I marched into Anthro yesterday, receipt in hand, returned it, and swiftly experienced a feeling of relief--in part due to having my money back, but mostly because I felt like, as a consumer, I had made the right decision. How silly to assume that Goliath gives a shit about David's emotional musings. And then I promptly spent the same amount on the Just-Right Ruffled Coat. . . this time, fully-lined wool. And I concur that with a teeny bit of ruffle, it is just right:

Edited to include: After reading this, courtesy of the fabulous enc, I have decided to cut the Anthro cord. I'm not drinking the kool-aid anymore. The above coat, #2, has gone back from whence it came. I just can't get down with a store who's too good to be perceived as a place where one can secure a bargain. No sir. No ma'am. See our comments for more of my thoughts.

"But prisons do not disappear problems, they disappear human beings."

2008-11-28T12:03:00.009-05:00

When I lived in California--briefly, after high school--I was taken aback upon filling out applications for employment, as I found that each one contained the same statement: Have you been convicted of a crime?* and corresponding asterisk explanation: If conviction was marijuana related, check NO.

Now, I was never convicted of any crime, but the statement heightened my curiosity regarding the inefficacy of drug policy and the injustices of the prison system. Years later, I found Angela Davis' work and thoughts on the prison industrial complex, from which the title line is borrowed. Basically, Davis points out the disturbing practices of the United States governments--both federal and state-- whereby more individuals are locked behind bars here than any other country in the Western world. The management, so to speak, of the vast number of "criminals--"disproportionately people of color and those who are undereducated and/or living in poverty--is then outsourced to corporations, privatized. Prisoners and the prison system become commodities, then--a means to profit for shareholders. There is no regard for the need to develop solutions to social issues of injustice that extend beyond mere incarceration. Well how, TPNB, you say, could the money that goes into maintaining the prison industrial complex be better used? What types of interventions could ease some of our society's issues before individuals are caged for profit?
I will let the expert answer:

[The prison industrial complex] devours the social wealth that could be used to subsidize housing for the homeless, to ameliorate public education for poor and racially marginalized communities, to open free drug rehabilitation programs for people who wish to kick their habits, to create a national health care system, to expand programs to combat HIV, to eradicate domestic abuse -- and, in the process, to create well-paying jobs for the unemployed. . .

Mass incarceration is not a solution to unemployment, nor is it a solution to the vast array of social problems that are hidden away in a rapidly growing network of prisons and jails. However, the great majority of people have been tricked into believing in the efficacy of imprisonment, even though the historical record clearly demonstrates that prisons do not work. Racism has undermined our ability to create a popular critical discourse to contest the ideological trickery that posits imprisonment as key to public safety. The focus of state policy is rapidly shifting from social welfare to social control.

As I continued to investigate, I began to understand that the "War on Drugs" is simply another way in which officers in police departments around the country keep their pockets lined. In the wake of some sad news about an old friend, I was compelled to research exactly where my state stood in terms of incarceration of nonviolent offenders. Yeah, we came in 1st (ah location revealed). My state ranks "#1 among the fifty states in terms of the proportion of drug offenders as part of the overall prison population and in new prison admissions who are drug offenders" (DPA). How very sad. And how very fiscally irresponsible--with our state cutting budgets like nobody's business (including, but of course, higher ed-my alma mater lost MILLIONS in funding), and with each prisoner costing tax payers $46,880/year, doesn't it seem like now might be the perfect opportunity to reform drug sentencing laws?

Government, on all levels, is willing to continue to prize corporate contracts and lobbyist agendas over basic human dignity and amelioration of a host of social issues. The defeat of Prop 5 in California during the November elections is a perfect demonstration of this. But the fact that Prop 5 was proposed and voted on is a step in the right direction. Radical change is certainly needed in order to restructure our criminal justice system. You can visit DPA to see what you can do and to investigate where your own state stands--I'm quite sure it can't be any worse than mine.

Thanks to Give

2008-11-26T23:56:00.006-05:00

I'm thankful for. . .

-Family that loves me and takes me for who I am

-Friends, new and old, near and far, that sustain me through laughter, happiness, and memories

-My dog, who tries so hard to not get mad at me when we skip a walk

-A position in a profession that inspires me and pushes me to grow personally and professionally

-A warm house with a kitchen full of home-grown vegetables and a fridge full of home-cooked meals

-Health and well-being; intellectual capacity and empathy

-Experiences of all sorts that have brought with them life lessons that I do and will carry with me always

To those who read my thoughts and share your thoughts, thank you for your support and a sense of genuine community. Let's all offer our own thanks today, and remember those who suffer, go without, hunger, shiver--those who are lonely, sad, living in poverty. Let's be thankful for our blessings and know that there but by the grace of God go. . . us. Warm wishes for a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving, all!

Awwwwww Yeah

2008-11-21T12:24:00.004-05:00

In exactly one month and four days, this beauty will be mine all mine. It's a Rafe and I snagged it via Gilt Group thanks to the access code provided by the lovely ladies at Kingdom Of Style. It was a tough-fought race--someone else had the last one in their cart but they finally dropped it. I feel so victorious. O, online shopping, see what you do to me?

Here's the back, too:

I Think I'm in Love with My Radio

2008-11-19T20:34:00.007-05:00

I was never a HUGE Beyonce fan. I've always loved her other half and have just about every one of his cds--one of the greatest artists of my generation if you ask me. I don't mean to suggest that I ever disliked Beyonce--I always liked Destiny's Child and enjoyed her work as a solo artist, but I hadn't owned a single album. I do see her as in many ways unparalleled in style, class and talent when it comes to the new breed of whatever genre it is in which you would place her. She's no Mariah and no Mary J.--there is only one Mary J.--but that's not to slight her talent in the least. It's just a different generation. So imagine my surprise at my new found love! Contrary to my usual m.o., I picked up her new album, I Am. . . Sasha Fierce yesterday. I'm so not a new cd buyer. I'm a chronic burner (just noticed how that could be construed. . . I meant as in I chronically burn c.d.s from others) and the majority of the music I listen to was made long before I was born. I do like rap, as in real rap not hip-hop silly stuff that they call rap nowadays. Anyhow. . . it seemed like B was making a major comeback with her last few songs, so I decided to pick it up. The c.d. is faaaabulous. My favorite tracks so far are "Radio" (line from post title) and "Diva." The Hov influence is strongly identifiable in "Diva" and I eagerly await a fantastical collaboration with him or another equally major rapper. There are some interesting influences which I'm still trying to place cropping up throughout the double-disc album. I'm hearing Prince in there, some Michael Jackson--no surprises here--but then I also hear her channeling more bluesy notes at times. Without question, I'm more partial to the Sasha Fierce half of the album. The beats are, how do you say? Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Here's "Diva," for your listening pleasure. . .

I've been super busy lately, so sorry for my lack of commenting on everyone's blog. Parent/teacher conferences this week are finally over, but more to come next week. . . commence dreaming of snow days. . .

Happiness Is a Warm Book (Or a Whole Stack)

2008-11-16T20:02:00.008-05:00

While I'm working on Camilo Mejia's Road From ar Ramadi: The Private Rebellion of Staff Sergeant Camilo Mejia: An Iraq War Memoir, I have a new stack of books to look forward to, thanks to a bday gift certificate from my sister. I resisted the urge to spend it on books for the classroom library. Here are the newest additions to my rather unkempt bookshelf:

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris--can't wait for this! I read When You Are Engulfed in Flames over the summer and was so addicted I was sad to finish it.

Rimbaud Complete, the complete poetry & prose of Arthur Rimbaud--French anarchist and poet who quit poetry at 21 and died at 37. I couldn't resist!

The Poetry of Pablo Neruda, edited by Ilan Stavans and including the Elemental Odes. Nine hundred+ pages of Neruda = love.

Orientalism, by Edward Said--I studied excerpts in great depth in college for postcolonial studies but never owned the book myself. I employed the lens of this theory to analyze the seemingly innocuous Magic Tree House book series by Mary Pope Osbourne for a seminar. Loin clothed Masai warriors and magic carpet rides and anthropomorphism, o my.

Sundays are so bittersweet, aren't they?

Deafening Silence

2008-11-15T08:49:00.006-05:00

Did you know about Leonard Peltier? I didn't. Here's his website, too.

I stumbled upon this quote of his, and just thought it was brilliant:

Silence, they say, is the voice of complicity.
But silence is impossible.
Silence screams.
Silence is a message,
just as doing nothing is an act.
Let who you are ring out & resonate
in every word & every deed.
Yes, become who you are.
There's no sidestepping your own being
or your own responsibility.
What you do is who you are.
You are your own comeuppance.
You become your own message.
You are the message.

I especially like the line, "You are your own comeuppance." I hold a belief that the idea of karma as something that comes around some day in the far-off future is a false notion. You live your karma every single day whether you lie to yourself or not--you still have to wake up to and fall asleep to your own thoughts and conscience. And we as a nation have to wake up and fall asleep with what we do to people--domestically and worldwide--and the crimes and injustices our government knowingly and forcefully commits. There is just no way that we won't have to deal with our national comeuppance if we continue to let things go on the way they are now.

His quote is important to me because I think I'm seeing my place in the world differently than I had before. I think that I understand more thoroughly what it mean to take action, even if I don't always fulfill the requirements. I used to imagine action as writing my representatives, which I did often and with gusto, but now I'm beginning to see that this is just a farce that we trick ourselves into believing will work. The action we need requires much more effort and entails much less comfort. I think Peltier's message says it perfectly.

Little Green, He's a Non-Conformer. . .

2008-11-15T08:27:00.009-05:00

Neil Young on bailing out the big three.

Just another reason I love him! Add it to the pile.

Here's a taste:

"Detroit has had a long time to adapt to the new world and now the failure of Detroit's actions is costing us all. We pay the bailout. Let's make a good deal for the future of America and the Planet. Companies like UQM (Colorado) and others build great electric motors right here in the USA. Use these domestic electric motors. Put these people to work now. This plan reverses the flow from negative to positive because people need and will buy clean and green cars to be part of World Change."

Now, all, don't think I'm that naive. I know the limitations of electric cars just as much as I know the limitations of ethanol. The electric cars still have to be powered, and thus they still are using energy from somewhere. But what's wonderful about what Young is saying is the idea that we could use this time of trouble as a way forward, as a way to step in the direction of higher fuel efficiency and lower dependence on foreign oil. And better yet, he's talking about a way to secure the lives of millions of Americans who are employed by the Big 3, not a way to keep the fat cats on the dole longer--in fact, he says, get'em outta there. And that sounds great to me.

Here's a piece the NYT did on Young's Lincoln turn electric car. I <3 the title. And he buys his grassoline from a spot in Pacifica! That just happens to be the very location that I briefly inhabited after high school.

Trick Ourselves in Portable Stanzas

2008-11-08T23:23:00.002-05:00

Just a lovely stanza and a half from T. S. Eliot's "Gerontion"

After such knowledge, what forgiveness? Think now
History has many cunning passages, contrived corridors
And issues, deceives with whispering ambitions,
Guides us by vanities. Think now
She gives when our attention is distracted
And what she gives, gives with such supply confusions
That the giving famishes the craving. Gives too late
Into weak hands, what's thought can be dispensed with
Till the refusal propagates a fear. Think
Neither fear nor courage saves us. Unnatural vices
Are fathered by our heroism. Virtues
Are forced upon us by our impudent crimes.
There tears are shaken from the wrath-bearing tree.

The tiger springs in the new year. Us he devours. Think
at last
We have not reached conclusion, when I
Stiffen in a rented house. Think at last
I have not made this show purposelessly
And it is not by any concitation
Of the backwards devils
I would meet you upon this honestly.

He Said, She Said, They Said, We Said

2008-11-06T22:22:00.003-05:00

These are the days of our lives. . .

Do you ever feel like some things never change? This town just isn't big enough sometimes.

1.20.09

2008-11-04T23:01:00.005-05:00

Here we come.

Big Brother is Watching . . . ME. Fancy that.

2008-11-04T21:29:00.009-05:00

As I sit watching Democracy Now coverage of the election, highlights of which will be enumerated below, I was just rifling through my sitemeter records. You'd be surprised how many people really end up viewing your blog, if only for 1 second on their way to finding what they're looking for, and the referrals page is always most interesting to me. I love to see how people originally stumbled upon my blog, even if they weren't looking for it. So, I check out a referral that says blogs were searched for the following key phrase: "redeployed and Iraq and mental." Hm. So, I open the link just to see. Then, I wonder the next logical question--who in the world is google blog searching such an awkward phrase?

Well, folks, have a look for yourselves:

Domain Name

osd.mil ^? (Military)

IP Address

134.152.182.# (The Pentagon)

ISP

The Pentagon

Location

Continent	:	North America
Country	:	United States (Facts)
State	:	Virginia
City	:	Arlington
Lat/Long	:	38.8782, -77.1054 (Map)
Distance	:	156 miles

Language

English (U.S.)
en-us

Operating System

Microsoft WinXP

Browser

Firefox
Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.1) Gecko/2008070208 Firefox/3.0.1

Javascript

version 1.5

Monitor

Resolution	:	1024 x 768
Color Depth	:	32 bits

Time of Visit

Oct 27 2008 11:45:19 am

Last Page View

Oct 27 2008 11:45:19 am

Visit Length

0 seconds

Page Views

Referring URL

http://blogsearch.go...al&btnG=Search Blogs

Search Engine

blogsearch.google.com

Search Words

redeployed and iraq and mental

Visit Entry Page

http://onthelearn.bl...weekend-in-city.html

Visit Exit Page

http://onthelearn.bl...weekend-in-city.html

Out Click

Time Zone

UTC-4:00

Visitor's Time

Oct 27 2008 12:45:19 pm

Visit Number

697

THE PENTAGON. FOR REAL? For real. Do they really have nothing better to do? Someone needs to give me a job doing blog searches all damn day long. "Redeployed and Iraq and mental?" Really?

But let's think about this. Why might the Pentagon be concerned with employing some grunt to conduct such a search? Are they becoming concerned, perhaps, that the public is on to the shameful treatment of Iraq soldiers and veterans? Of Iraqi families and children? Are they worried that the whole "P.F.C. Jane Doe, you had a preexisting condition, silly, you already had borderline personality disorder. So f you and the PTSD horse you rode in on" shtick is getting old? Well, it is. It's getting old and soldiers are committing suicide in record numbers. So maybe the Pentagon should be worried.

Ok, on to the highlights of this evening's Democracy Now broadcast, thus far (yes I am this much of a nerd):

-Tim Robbins detailing his story of not being on the voter roll at a location at which he has voted in the LAST 4 presidential elections, if I understood him correctly, as well as numerous local ones, and then waiting 5 HOURS after refusing to leave the polling place and having his right to stay supported by 2 NYC POLICE OFFICERS and his right to vote guaranteed by a judge; 30 OTHER PEOPLE had the same trouble this morning at Robbins' polling location.

-Bob Fitrakis' discussion of possible shadiness a'brewin in Warren County, Ohio--you can get the low-down here, though the O-man has already won that state so it's sort of a non-issue I suppose.

-Jeremy Scahill questioning Tim Robbins on his full support for Obama despite Obama's hawkish rhetoric and Robbins' outspoken support for ending the war; the issue of critical support--meaning support coupled with a critical eye--is key in this and any election

-Discussion of voter disenfranchisement and race, including oppressive tactics such as voter roll purging and misinformation regarding identification requirements at polls

So Big Brother is watching me--he must be watching you, too. I guess if he only clocked "0 seconds," I'm deemed not a threat to national security. I don't know whether to feel affronted or relieved. Or amused. But I'm labeling this post recognition, so I suppose I've answered my own question. Then again, I'm also labeling it g.w. is a d.b.

7 Random Things

2008-10-31T20:42:00.010-04:00

The lovely Mrs. V. over at Mrs. V's Reviews tagged me to write 7 random things about myself. . . here it goes. . .

1. I am a Seinfeld devotee. It's kind of scary. My dad and I wouldn't be caught dead watching anything else between 7 and 8 pm any day of the week. It may be all about CSPAN Book TV on the weekends, but we need our Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer every day of the week.

2. Wine and I get along nicely. My hands-down favorite is a nice Pinot Noir. Nothing too fancy, but I'll spring for a beautiful crimson bottle of KJ any day. If I'm in the market for a white, I'll usually do a Sav Blanc. The last time I was in Napa, we discovered this amazing little winery, Clos du Val, cloister of the valley--small estate of a small valley as they put it. What I loved so much about this winery was that a) they were in many ways off the beaten Napa path and thus free of the obnoxiousness of 20-somethings trying to get wasted (yes, I'm a 20-something but I, au contraire, do not embark on wine-tasting adventures with this end in mind) and b) there was no trace of pretentiousness or snobbery in the tasting staff. I felt comfortable asking questions and they didn't scoff at my questions as if I should have already known the answers. Oh, and they waive the tasting fee if you buy a bottle, which not all of them do. Ooooh, and if you're in Sonoma instead, don't miss another favorite: Ravenswood Winery --no wimpy wines!

3. (Stealing this category from you, V!) I absolutely plan to do a PhD program sometime in the near future. As per the advice of my elders and professors, I will not do one without a fellowship or assistantship that covers tuition. Right now I'm waiting on deciding exactly the direction in which it's right to go. After a few years in the classroom I may feel that a Curriculum & Instruction PhD (NOT EED--zero interest in administration) might be right. But, I also am strongly pulled in the direction of my undergrad discipline--English. The drawback here is most English PhD programs require the candidate to have reading knowledge of two languages besides English by the end of the program--eeeeeeek! I took four years of Italian in high school and all, but 2 languages is a major commitment of a whole different breed. Other ideas include some sort of media/American studies/cultural studies/W&G studies/anthropology degree. I just need a good few years in the general ed classroom to see if that's where I want to stay or if I want to eventually pursue teaching at the post-secondary level.

4. I nannied two kids for 3 years! Right before I finished community (aka the 13th grade as we like to call it 'round here) and moved to regular college, I secured a part-time position nannying a little girl who was 1+ years old. When I left, she was 4 and had a little brother of 2.5. I was with them every morning for so many years, and I miss them terribly! They were great fun. Being with them every day really added to my knack of relating to kids of all ages, and schooled me in the intuitive ways of children--persons who can sense artifice and authenticity with great skill. I also learned a ton about babies in a supportive way; their mom was not just a great employer but is also a friend who taught me plenty of things I didn't know in a caring and nonthreatening way--including but not limited to how to split a banana into 3 easy pieces by shoving my finger in the top and to never try to calm an irate baby who won't go to sleep by continuing to talk to him about how upset and tired he is, no matter how soothing the tone. Watching--and enriching!--the process of two children's acquisition of language and observing the widening of their understanding of the world was unbelievably amazing. I miss mornings of singing Joni Mitchell and The Beatles together, and of dancing to Raffi--the very best musician for children in the whole wide world. And his philosophy on how children should be treated isn't too shabby, either. You don't know about Raffi you better ask somebody. Anyhow, I'm glad to have been such an important part in their lives, and I know that some of the times we spent together will be held fondly in their minds for always. Because of that position, I am able to say that I have actually had the privilege of working with kids quite literally from birth up to the 11th grade. I see where they've come from, I see where they're going, and my perspective has been greatly fortified by my experiences.

5. I love records. I'm lucky because my mom and dad have amassed a huge collection over the years. I think I like them because there's something so much more tangible about a record as compared to a cd. You can hold them and smell their musty smell and they have these sprawling photos of dreamers or glorious, hallucination-induced drawings. And then you open them up and they have all these surprises inside--poems and sincere dedications and whatever else the artist felt should go in there. My parents taught me early in life how to put the needle on the record carefully, and that is a skill I am thankful for.

6. Speaking of hallucination-induced anything, I'm interested in Carlos Castaneda's conversations with Don Juan as recorded in his mystical accounts, starting with The Teaches of Don Juan. It wasn't so much the Mesoamerican shamanism itself that drew me in, but the particular ideas regarding how humans can control their spiritual selves that took hold of me. The understanding of the world as something far more mystical and unknowable as we try to make it is comforting to me in some odd, eerie way. One of my favorite quotes is found in Journey to Ixtlan: "There are worlds upon worlds, right here in front of us. And they are nothing to laugh at. . . "
If you've ever read any Castaneda, yes, I have tried the do the whole dream thing and I think I did manage to glance at my hands once. I think I stopped reading the book before bed at that point. Maybe I should start again!

7. I love stationary and writing my own thank-you notes and messages of all sorts. Don't get it twisted--you won't catch me doing any stamping or anything else krafty-korner like. But I do love to write my own messages and give plain old pretty note cards for occasions as opposed to buying a card that says something disingenuous or artificial.

Ok, there you have it. Whew. I tag whoever wants to be tagged. I'm no good at that part. . .

Hard to Make Arrangements With Yourself. . .

2008-10-31T20:28:00.004-04:00

I had two students come up to me Monday and tell me how they made good choices and used their best judgment over last weekend at that much-dreaded party I mentioned a couple posts ago. One even came to speak with me during lunch. By the smile on this child's face, I could see his pride and perhaps even a little relief that he had excused himself from the stress that comes from bad choices. It felt really good to hear them putting trust in the idea that they don't have to go with the crowd in order to be liked, and to know that I had made some inroads if they really were brave enough to resist bad choices. Hooray for them.

For Real, Though?

2008-10-28T20:03:00.002-04:00

For real though.

You may have already seen it. But it's too messed up not to post. I saw it on field negro first. Please, people. I am not in the habit of making political requests. But please, go ahead and forward this to everyone you know.

America when will you be angelic?

2008-10-26T19:23:00.010-04:00

I spent the weekend in the city. I won't say which one. I'm wiped. Today we met my brother and sister-in-law, in town from across the country, for lunch and shopping. It was wonderful to see them and spend some quick quality time together. We won't see them again until Christmas. I'm happy to announce I picked up some delicious chocolate-- a dark milk chocolate with plantain chips bar and a dark milk w/ almonds and caramelized pecans bar. They will be coming right to school with me--a couple grown-up Halloween treats for myself. No shame in that.

Yesterday evening, we attended the Resisting Empire tour sponsored by Haymarket Books--a non-profit, progressive publisher. It was incredible. The major moment of the evening, for me, was meeting Jeremy Scahill. Thanks to the friend who introduced me, if you're reading. Silly me--I forgot to bring along my copy of Blackwater. Jeremy was an extraordinary speaker, not surprisingly. His Blackwater won the Polk award for excellence in journalism, btw.

I also had the pleasure of speaking briefly with Camilo Mejia, the courageous first soldier to refuse to redeploy to Iraq. He spent 9 months in prison. He signed my new copy of Road from ar Ramadi: The Private Rebellion of Staff Sergeant Mejia: An Iraq War Memoir. I can't wait to read it and will do a thorough post.

Michael Schwartz, author of War Without End: The Iraq War in Context also spoke. I still have to pick up a copy of this title. Schwartz was a powerful yet soft-spoken presence. It was an interesting contrast to Jeremy Scahill's admirable and inspiring intensity. Schwartz discussed the absolute destruction of the infrastructure of the country of Iraq by U.S. contractors--everything from the sewage system to ecosystems, from the electrical grid to the pre-invasion booming date fruit industry (via the careless disposal of routine pesticide-spraying that secured the livelihood of date farmers). The part about the date trees was reminiscent of the razing of orange groves in Palestine by Israeli forces. Not only is this type of annihilation a statement of the occupier's intention to destroy a country's ability to economically sustain themselves. It is a shot straight to the heart of a symbol of great cultural significance. It is a way to say, we are here and we don't care about what you held sacred before we came. The date trees take 15 years to mature to the point where they are an economically viable commodity. It will be at least that long after forces vacate Iraq for farmers to have any hope of returning to the successful date exportation of the pre-occupation.

Among other highlights from the speakers, Laila Al-Arian spoke passionately and with conviction about the devastation this war has brought to Iraqi families and U.S. soldiers alike. She discussed the mental anguish inflicted upon both oppressor and oppressed in the U.S. occupation. Her words reminded me of Paulo Freire's insistence that to resist oppression is to show love for the oppressor, to make the oppressor in fact more human. With 30% (at the conservative end of the estimate) of our soldiers coming back from Iraq with PTSD, the tasks they are ordered to perform while on tours of duty certainly does not a human make. And then the VA pays them the ultimate honor for their service and turns them away, classifying their PTSD as borderline personality disorder, claiming it is a preexisting condition. And let's not forget about the over 30% of Iraqi children manifesting symptoms of PTSD as well. Shouldn't it just be called TSD in that case?

I also purchased Winter Soldier: Iraq and Afghanistan, Eyewitness Accounts of the Occupations. It is a compilation of oral testimony gathered from 50 veterans and it is edited jointly by Aaron Glantz and the Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW). Again, after reading I will be sure to post.

The Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW) were present, too. At the Hofstra debates, 15 IVAW vets were arrested for peaceful civil disobedience. They had hoped to submit a question about Veteran's healthcare to be read at the debates--one that was, btw, asked at the Third Part Debate. One of their members was trampled by a police horse and his eye cavity was shattered. He is in the hospital as we speak where doctors are attempting to save his eye from sinking further into his skull. Three inches north and this brave vet would be no more. His bills will not be covered under our nation's sorry excuse for a VA. This is not a partisan issue, folks. When Americans are denied their rights to free speech and freedom of assembly, there is no red-state blue-state issue at hand. This gentleman was refused treatment by the police after the horse trampled him, and was thrown in the police van with other arrested protesters. Another woman, an NYC kindergarten teacher, was also injured by a police horse.

Here are a couple links to the reports:

Huffington Post report

Be The Media report (including videos)

Digital Journal report

On a final note, the Abolitionists were present. They have just succeeded in commuting a death sentence of a man in Georgia to life in prison. They also just secured a second stay of execution for Troy Anthony Davis, also on death row in Georgia, whose story is a perfect example of why the death penalty should be abolished. A few quick facts on Davis' case: he--a black man--was convicted of killing a white police officer but no physical evidence ever linked him to the crime. Seven of nine witnesses have come forward and signed affidavits saying they lied on the stand, some said they were pressured to do so by police. Troy was without any public defender/attorney from 1991-1996.

Needless to say, it was an invigorating weekend that left me with much more to think about than I had two days ago. I hope, after reading, you can say the same!

On the Learn in Too Many Ways.

2008-10-24T23:41:00.005-04:00

It's been a long, frustrating week. Many realities have begun to sink in. I've cried for the first time since I've started, so I guess that's an ok record, but I was hoping to go a little longer before having to take it there. . .

To begin with, I've had to admit to myself that bringing my beliefs about writing/reading workshop into this school culture that doesn't embrace it is way more of an uphill battle than I imagined. And, believe it or not, the battle is mostly with trying to get my students to care about their own writing, to own it and to produce authentic work--a battle ultimately rooted in the inadequacies of the design of the curriculum. Simple, really: when no one makes you give a shit about your writing for 7 years, you don't. And when someone comes along who tries to help you towards the goal of caring, it's hard. It's hard to take ownership when all that's been expected of you is the deliverance of writing on some terribly dull schemed up topic described as "relevant" by the lazy slobs who drummed it up, or some canned response to reading which does not require your actual reaction--but rather the reaction your teacher told you you should have had all along, silly--or some "persuasive" piece planned, written and typed in one day. I'm assuming that my students would want to pick their own topics and that they're capable of it. I'm assuming that my aims for their writing are transparent. I'm wrong. They have gone through 7 years of having others tell them when to write, about what to write, exactly how much to write down to the number of sentences and paragraphs, and when to write it. And they were ok with that, because it's simply all they knew. I'm turning their world upside down and they're frustrated and a little daunted by the challenge. I'm doing my best to assure them that I will support them. And I'm hoping that what I envision for them can become a reality.

In other news, I've had to face the truth that my students aren't who I thought they were--my assumptions were naive at best. To begin with, they are still 7th graders in many ways and I think I forgot that. They're dealing with a major transition--a huge shift in expectations, in workload, in social arrangement, in social pressures (keep reading). We spent a few minutes today talking about what they're overwhelmed or frustrated by, what they're finding challenging. One of my kids--one I'm rooting for and have been working hard with--bravely announced that he was pissed off about everyone assuming he was the same kid he was in 6th and 7th grade. I think our talk in lunch detention today had an impact. I hope.

Now the tough stuff: tonight many of my kids are attending a party at which they will be doing things I can't imagine having done at their age. Among other things, it sounds as though this party will include a mom who doesn't care about what they do and "open access to bedrooms," as one of my little informants put it. I'm cringing for their poor little brains and bodies, much too young to accommodate any of these activities. The school knows, but can't do much about it. I don't get it. But I guess I do. I'm sad. I didn't know it was like that. I reminded them all to make good choices and use their best judgment this weekend. I sure hope they listened, though my intuition tells me they don't give a shit--as I didn't, when people told me that in high school. But that's the point--in high school. Not eighth grade.

I'm lost right now. I guess it's ok to be lost, to be frustrated, to be pissed off and sad and disappointed. I just keep hoping it's all going to teach me something I need to know, to bring me to some new place I need to be--for my kids and for me. Boy, friends, I sure am on the learn this week.

Ain't I a Woman?

2008-10-24T22:58:00.005-04:00

My suburban white kids whose parents have McCain/Palin signs strewn about their perfectly manicured acres didn't know who Sojourner Truth was. I suppose I'm not surprised. So, after reading them When Harriet Met Sojourner, I had them listen to Sojourner's most famous speech. I thought you might like to revisit it--scarily enough, there are plenty of ideas in it as pertinent today as they were in 1851. Look out for what Sojourner might have to say to McCain and his criticism of "spreading the wealth."

Ain't I a Woman?

Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention in Akron, Ohio

Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.

The Moon and the Deep Blue Sea

2008-10-19T14:42:00.006-04:00

Jimi doing "Angel"

Consider it my Poetry Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday. It was worth waiting for, no?

Ok, and "Little Wing," for good measure. This is a beautiful recording.

Did you know that when Jimi said he wanted the cover of Axis: Bold as Love to have an "Indian" theme, he meant Native American Indian, not East Asian? Yep. So he ended up with the iconic cover by mistake:

Did you know?!?!

2008-10-18T12:27:00.005-04:00

One of my very favorite Y.A. titles--Coraline by Neil Gaiman--is being made into a stop-motion animated film! Dakota Fanning will be doing the voice for Coraline. Somehow that strikes me as just the right fit. She's just got that edge of creepy--sort of because she seems so adult but is yet so young all at the same time. And that's kind of how Coraline struck me, too. Here's my review of the book, which I read over the summer. And here's a piece from W that I was just reading on Dakota Fanning.

Hi Hater

2008-10-13T20:54:00.007-04:00

So I've been dealing with a strange breed of adults who can only be categorized as haters. They hate. I could attempt to enumerate all the reasons why they could possibly hate on me, but that would be pointless because a hater hates no matter what the reason is. I just can't take adults acting like children. Children acting like children, that's a different story.

Of course haters come in all shapes and sizes. But it's a particular clique (yes, the dreaded teacher clique) to which I'm referring. Most teachers simply have no time to hate. These people obviously have too much time on their hands. I think I've referenced the thick as thieves group of women who spend all of 30 minutes on their plans each week--30 minutes that are, generally, comprised of deciding which handouts from the textbook to copy for the next week. Now, I have developed my ability to smile and nod with unprecedented success. But I'm tired of having to worry about who is an informant to these. . . I won't even say ladies. . . and who is not. I can't stand passive aggressiveness. I can't stand having to worry about where people's allegiances lie. So I'm giving up on worrying about it.

To epitomize how I'm feeling, here's a youtube of Kat Williams on haters. Warning, IT'S GRAPHIC. Which is partly why it's hilarious. Absolutely graphic plenty of curse words so don't watch if you don't wanna hear 'em.

It's just silly to hate on someone for wanting to do the work they do, and wanting to do it in a way that brings goodness to the lives of others, not darkness. It's just too bad.

Arugula Shmarugula

2008-10-13T20:50:00.003-04:00

Poetry Friday & The Participation Point

2008-10-10T18:58:00.005-04:00

Magic Words

Blaze coolly.
Save your
morning
coffee
breath
unless an ear that hears for an open mind
is listening.
Let them think you dumb.
Let them dominate the discourse.
Never reveal what shivers and boils
beneath brown tree green eyes,
veiny wrists,
thin
alabaster
flesh,
unless what pleads to be said
bears importance
that
trembles and echoes.

_______________________________

Ok, so here's a poem I wrote a couple years ago in college. I wrote bad poetry for a while. This is not a pity plea for you to tell me otherwise. It's just a plain old fact. Anyhow, maybe my professors, if any are reading, are laughing and thinking that they never knew me to be one to sit quietly. But it's funny to look back at the poem now, as a teacher. With all of the emphasis on getting to every student to contribute something every day, we sometimes lose sight of the fact that not every student always feels what they have to say is important. And yes, we should be validating their perspectives. And yes, we should be assuring them that their contributions are worthwhile and important to the classroom community. However, I knew as a student that at times what I had to say about something was either not topical enough to be addressed at the time or not pertinent enough to add depth to the discussion. It's a fallacy to assume that students always always always have something to say about a given idea. We need to remember what it felt like to sit in a class and silently evaluate whether or not we should speak. We need to teach our students that yes, what they have to say matters buuuuut we must teach them likewise to be thoughtful speakers who can contribute genuinely because they feel compelled to by the quality of their contribution, not just to have secured the much-sought-after participation point :::shudder::: --a point just undefined enough to dangle ominously over their heads. I don't do the participation point. I prefer to create a relationship with my students by which they feel comfortable enough to contribute without being forced or cajoled into it. This doesn't mean I don't push them towards and support them in the process of becoming more community-minded, social people. It means that nobody needs to be nagged into contributing. I'd rather not have them speak if this is how I must go about having them do so.

Your thoughts?

Guess Who's Gonna See Jeremy Scahill Talk?

2008-10-09T17:49:00.004-04:00

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Here's the link. I won't say where. You'll never know (unless you, like me, have sitemeter).

Birthday Boot

2008-10-06T20:35:00.010-04:00

Guess who's going to be 24 verrrry soon? Me.

Guess who needs some fun new boots? Me.

Guess who picks out her bday presents for everyone else to buy? Yup. Me again. I leave nothing to the imagination when it comes to gift buying.

The question of color is an important one today. Black will absolutely be the most versatile. But who can resist the browns? The question of height is also paramount. I really want to try out a knee-high boot, but I'm 5'2, so a heel is most probable at this point. However, I'm really drawn to the flats. I'm just not sure they'll do me any favors, especially the knee-length ones.

I also am NOT buying school-wearables. I'm SICK of buying things for work. These will be only for out-of-school me. Besides Fridays, perhaps.

Here are the options as of today . . .

Michael Kors. The black is very appealing also.

Urban Outfitters. Again, hesitant to try the flats. But a good option if I choose to.

All from Aldo. The top only comes in black. The middle in various. I think I'm gravitating towards the last pair. The color is "ice." I'm assuming that means something greyish, but the pic is ambiguous. It could go that way or more towards the taupe side of things. Both would work well.

Oh, and these are sort of awesome if completely impractical . . .

Go here to look at the back. I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure that the back multiplies the awesomeness by at least 10. Wish I could just paste the image. Silly Adobe. The bane of my image-copying existence.

Send any suggestions my way.

In Peace & Solidarity

2008-10-05T00:08:00.010-04:00

I really do believe in what CodePink and other activist organizations have done and continue to do. It is courageous work no matter how the media wants to spin it. In fact, it is a huge step forward that their presence and the presence of any anti-war sentiment has been acknowledged by the media whatsoever.
This is way old, but I don't think I've ever posted it here. Funny thing, there used to be a cut version of this on youtube but now you need to scroll ahead to about 3:15 and watch for like the next 45 seconds. Watch carefully . . .

Did you see his eyes? Go back and watch again. Despite the outdatedness of this clip, it's such a major thing when the facade is broken, if only for a millisecond. It demonstrates that, indeed, just as Orwell had it, the overwhelmingly scary presence of doublethink exists at even the highest levels of power. I guess in some cases it is absolutely imperative for one to carry out one's orders.

Let's just pray that Sarah "I'll-Be-Alive-For-Jesus-Christ's-Second-Coming" Palin's "goshdarnit we're mavericks" blackwhite newspeak doesn't fool anyone.

Poetry Friday (for real!)

2008-10-03T17:50:00.005-04:00

Yes, I did get it together enough to actually post a Poetry Friday. See that? I'm getting better at this whole thing already. Yesterday was a tough, tired, frustrating day. Working from 7:30-6ish most days finally caught up to me and I felt awfully defeated. Today, the sun was shining and I was feeling much better. A little sleep goes a long way. Ok ok ok here's the poem. . .

The God of Broken Things

by Yusef Komunyakaa

He's in a lopsided heaven at Maggie's
Junk Shop. Objects of wood, iron, ivory,
Of veneer, lead, stone, glass, flimsy
Cardboard, of tin, brass, bronze . . .

He could go on forever fixing
Cracks, fissures, dents, fractures,
Rasping & gluing together what is
Unheard-of with what can never be

Broken or hurt beneath the architecture
Of planned obsolescence. Objets d'art
& bric-a-brac mended with ratty hemp.
The secret space the butterfly

Screw opens wings inside a heart
Made to slip into a dream. He browses
Gutted appliances, & knows if toenailed
Right a murderous thing is almost new.

More from Rilke

2008-10-01T22:13:00.002-04:00

From Letters. . . yes, again.

"People have (with the help of conventions) oriented all their solutions toward the easy and toward the easiest side of the easy; but it is clear that we must hold to what is difficult; everything alive holds to it, everything in Nature grows and defends itself in its own way and is characteristically and spontaneously itself, seeks at all costs to be so and against all opposition. We know little, but that we must hold to what is difficult is a certainty that will not forsake us; it is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult; that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it."

I've said it before and I'll say it again--so often, we don't choose what we read. What we read chooses us. This one came right on time.